Coincidence Over Metaphor.
i believe in the coincidence more then the metaphor.
it has been one of the darkest weeks that i can remember.
the other day i took an image of myself in my apartment in a direct beam of sunlight. direct sunlight or any daylight at all never enters my apartment, but the other day, a little sliver did. it wasn't reflected, it didn't bounce off anything, it was direct, i checked. i can only remember this happening once before, around the same time of year, but years ago.
the other day i saw a photograph in a book at a book store, in the picture i believed it to be an old love, wearing something i had given her. if this was true, it would mean that during the time many years ago that we were together, the truth of what i was told and what was actually happening weren't connected. i made the mistake of asking and then the mistake of it possibly not being her in the photograph in the first place.
then today i had the cruelest conversation happen to me on the telephone, from the sweetest person i have ever met. even if i stretch my brain to understand why, it doesn't change how it felt, i did my best, it wasn't enough.
3 random events in one week and my life is on a path i don't want and i cannot do anything about it to get it back.
i didn't realize this till writing this, but i am reminded of the first photo assignment i ever had.
- make a self portrait, the artist as a young man, "invented by belief; each the author and hero of a real dream by which our own courage and cunning are tested and tried; so that we may wonder all over again what is veritable and inevitable and possible and what it is to become whoever we may be." - that was my assignment, literally, exactly as worded by the 1st the professor i ever had.
this is my 413 story in 353 days here or 817 in 725 days total including the old site. i started thinking one a day, or at least that average, then the past few months, it became simply making a story better then the previous one or at the very least, make it the best effort i could on any given day on whatever was important to me in the moment because of simply how it felt to make something.
it has been one of the darkest weeks that i can remember.
the other day i took an image of myself in my apartment in a direct beam of sunlight. direct sunlight or any daylight at all never enters my apartment, but the other day, a little sliver did. it wasn't reflected, it didn't bounce off anything, it was direct, i checked. i can only remember this happening once before, around the same time of year, but years ago.
the other day i saw a photograph in a book at a book store, in the picture i believed it to be an old love, wearing something i had given her. if this was true, it would mean that during the time many years ago that we were together, the truth of what i was told and what was actually happening weren't connected. i made the mistake of asking and then the mistake of it possibly not being her in the photograph in the first place.
then today i had the cruelest conversation happen to me on the telephone, from the sweetest person i have ever met. even if i stretch my brain to understand why, it doesn't change how it felt, i did my best, it wasn't enough.
3 random events in one week and my life is on a path i don't want and i cannot do anything about it to get it back.
i didn't realize this till writing this, but i am reminded of the first photo assignment i ever had.
- make a self portrait, the artist as a young man, "invented by belief; each the author and hero of a real dream by which our own courage and cunning are tested and tried; so that we may wonder all over again what is veritable and inevitable and possible and what it is to become whoever we may be." - that was my assignment, literally, exactly as worded by the 1st the professor i ever had.
this is my 413 story in 353 days here or 817 in 725 days total including the old site. i started thinking one a day, or at least that average, then the past few months, it became simply making a story better then the previous one or at the very least, make it the best effort i could on any given day on whatever was important to me in the moment because of simply how it felt to make something.