Portfolio & Information & More

September 13th, 2013

9 – All My Love, V


September 12th, 2013

10 – All My Love, V


September 11th, 2013

11 – All My Love, V


September 10th, 2013

12 – All My Love, V


September 9th, 2013

13 – All My Love, V


September 8th, 2013

14 – All My Love, V


September 7th, 2013

15 – All My Love, V


September 6th, 2013

16 – All My Love, V


September 5th, 2013

17 – All My Love, V

September 4th, 2013

18 – All My Love, V

September 1st, 2013

All My Love, V



I only met you once, 34 days ago. I walked into the party where I only knew one, the birthday girl herself who was not you, but your best friend. I looked around the big table and took the seat directly to your left. You and I were now sitting closer together than anyone else at this party. We introduced ourselves and eventually I sneaked into your story. You were proclaiming your fascination with serial killers, talking about all that you had read. I listened quietly, then eventually shared, tried to explain, what it actually felt like, to stand, be, right where one had once been. I know, I have been, in Kansas. It’s exactly what one imagines while also being, exactly something unexpectedly different. We talked about that feeling, or rather, we tried to explain feeling something that we could not explain to someone else so that they could then know. Now, 34 days later, you wrote me, everyone, about a feeling you had that you could not change but wanted to explain:

“How does one begin, expand upon and then end the last letter they’re ever going to write?” – All My Love, V

“…In the spirit of the modern age, I’ve decided to post my suicide letter as my final blog post. I don’t really know why other people have chosen to leave behind suicide letters. In my case, I’m writing one just to offer a little clarity on why I’ve decided to take this route out of existence instead of peacing out the old fashioned way via natural causes, car accident, plane crash, murder, cancer, etc…”




“…My inability to adapt to life’s challenges and assimilate its’ lessons into wisdom, gratitude and optimism have left me psychologically torn, emotionally numb, physically exhausted, and spiritually destitute. I do feel, however, that I gave it a damn good try…”




“…I’ve thought to myself, “If I get good grades, graduate high school, graduate college, struggle for my dreams day and night, lose weight, fall in love, make people laugh, love my friends, show up for my family, dance, travel, get sober, pray, go to therapy, take anti-depressants, swim, read, make movies, write books, smile” … then I’ll FINALLY be happy. Fuck being happy, maybe I’ll just feel some semblance of peace, contentment, and gratitude…”




“…I feel as though I’m watching from behind a glass shark tank as the world unfolds in all of its majestic glory. I’m just not a part of it anymore. I haven’t belonged to the experience of “living” for a long time…

…I have nothing left to contribute. I wish I did. I wish I’d made more of a positive impact and meaningful contribution to society and the planet before I left it. If I had the capacity to do so, I would stay…”


…I hope that suicide will offer some relief….”




“Remember to Orgasm as much as possible!”




You found the perfect place, the place with all the details you needed, just like you had always wanted, your will finally let you leap.

– – –

For 18 Stories, You Could Fly

August 19th, 2013

Dawn, 24 Weeks

Dusk, 9 August

A Little Girl Named Dawn, In A Photograph I Stole, 10 August, 7:43am CST

Dusk, 11 August

August 6th, 2013

22 Weeks & 45 Years


please press play


Memorial Day


“________ Had A ________ Last Week.” – At 22 Weeks

My Parents Married One Another. – 45 Years Ago

1 Nude Woman Played Me The Cello

And 8 Strangers Let Me Hear Them Cry Out

August 3rd, 2013

Magic Guignol

August 2nd, 2013

Happy Out Blow

July 29th, 2013

Make I Believe


I Mistake Beauty For Sincerity


July 13th, 2013






[ anteludium ]

July 9th, 2013

Red Flag


One Bull Waived A Red Flag At Another


July 8th, 2013



The Only Thing I Wanted In Life Here Was To Finish



Скажи мое имя, меня зовут Джонатан

July 7th, 2013



My Ability To Tell Time Was Taken Away & From Here I Could See


July 3rd, 2013

Hot Water


June 30th, 2013


– – –

– – –

June 29th, 2013

Pure Act





Dirty, dirty boy. That’s officially the first dirty photo you’ve sent me of yourself. I’m sure it’s wrong how much I like — both seeing it and the pure act of receiving it.

June 26th, 2013



I was all alone.
It was after midnight.
I was in an empty parking lot.
I found myself holding a piñata.
Made just for me, to look just like me.

June 24th, 2013



When it was happening, while she was touching me, I realized there were rules happening I wasn’t in on. The limits, acts, ways, whatever, that made me realize, made me feel, like nothing but a customer or the random other the real things weren’t for anymore. I embraced this in the moment as it was all I could have, was allowed to have. I feared it was my last chance, moment, touch, so I pushed my face in with all my might and tried to not scream till my part was done. When it was all done I turned out to be correct against all my hopes. There would be no correction, chance of anything, again.



I swore to myself I would never tell her. Then some time later, I did. I was weak, I couldn’t hear what was being said to me through that phone, it was all so unreal to have unravel. All that I knew, all that I was told, all about everything, wasn’t a truth. So in all my weak, I shared the only secret I had in return.



A year, maybe two, thinking back upon my weak, upon what I had shared against my own will, I realized how wrong I had been. If I had been one of her few actual customers, I could have found some dignity. Her customers know that is all they are. I never got to be that kind of real, either.


June 23rd, 2013

09 & 08 & 07


Day June


June 21st, 2013

Nights Dark Like These


I Am Scared Of Some Darks Too James – In A Place I Never Should Have Been

I Knew Something Bad Was Coming, But Not What Again Was

I Can Never See It Approaching

June 20th, 2013



June 17th, 2013

The First Settlement


I Received An Electronic Letter From My Father

– – –




(It started with)

I was disappointed in your latest post…

(It ended with)

Sent from my iPad

June 15th, 2013



– – –


June 10th, 2013

Heal Me, More


I Once Asked You To Heal Me, I Even Said Please

1:24:27 PM, Tuesday, August 14, 2012 – 26th Street & Santa Monica Boulevard – A Stranger Out My Window At 35 Miles Per Hour

– 296 Days & 14.3 Miles –

I saw you in the crowd. You caught my eye and I starred until discovered, then I stopped. Blushing and pretending I wasn’t. I milled about in the crowd and you caught my eye again. I starred some more. At first, it was just your beauty, then I thought maybe I had met you before, seen you before, but I didn’t know where. I couldn’t place you. I stood beside your conversation, listening in. I saw you take out your phone. I knew that color, so I thought I did. I entered the conversation. I remarked on your choice of colors, in many ways. You let me photograph your hand, well, because of its colors too. Then, standing back again and again starring, I remembered. I said, “I think I have a photograph of you.” Last summer, I made a photograph of you out my car window I explained. I got out my machine to show you, you had doubts. I asked if you had a cut on your leg, using again, a certain color bandage. You said you didn’t remember, but maybe, as it was the kind of thing you do. The machine was taking forever, doubt played in and played out as we waited. I didn’t want you to know that I already knew. I had seen one last detail in the flick of your hair, before I had spoken, that this was most assuredly, you. I tried to play this down, scared what you may think as I explained that I had a photograph of you, on my wall, in my home, right now.

The machine finished loading. I showed you. You said, “Yup, that’s me.” I expressed my amazement at this confirmation. You blushed, I blushed. I asked if I could take your photo, again, right now, you said, “Yes.” We walked over to a wall, you vanished behind a corner, tossed your hair to make it how you wanted and when you stepped right in front of me, I again pressed the forever button.

After this, I reached out my hand, I said, “Hello, I am Jonathan.” You took my hand, “Hello, I am R.”

It was the first time I touched you. Standing where we were, telling all those around us this story, I reached out and touched your shoulder with my finger. I did this four times. You looked at me, your eyes full of sparkle and laughed. I said, “I cannot believe you’re real.” You said, “I understand.”

Later, I asked if you happen to remember what you were doing that day, you said:


“…The only time I went to Santa Monica last August was to see a doctor.”



10:14:32 PM, Friday, June 7, 2013 – 5th Street & Main Street

– – –

Heal Me

May 28th, 2013

Wood & Fall


86 Minutes This Day, Within A Machine, For The First Again, I Did See No Wood, I Did See No Fall



– – –



– – –



– – –



– – –



– – –



– – –



– – –



– – –


May 26th, 2013

Leap, Plank


I Was Almost There, Half Way In Fact, When I Received An Unexpected Letter



I Stopped, I Read This Letter, I Continued



When I Got To Where I Was Headed, I Was Hot & I Was Alone



“Took a nap and had a dream. A wet dream. I was bound and my hands tied behind my back in a hotel room. I was naked. I was not alone. I could not see you but I could feel you, smell you, and hear the soft flicker of a [machine]. My body was penetrated at every opening. With every flicker of the [machine], with every stroke, with every pressure of penetration I became more aroused until I could no longer hold my body, until I no longer had the energy to make another sound. I collapsed into a ball on my side. I awoke hot and alone.”


May 24th, 2013






“You’re going backwards.”

– – –

“I know.”



819.3 Miles, Back to There, 35 Hours


May 22nd, 2013

Two Things


She said she had two things to tell me:


1 – “I don’t want to be in a relationship with you.”

2 – “I really want to fuck you, tonight.”



She told me these two things while I had my hand up the back of her skirt and inside her, inside a bar.
Later, that very tonight, when she was back at where I stay in my bed, I couldn’t.

May 20th, 2013

Bitten Sand


– – –



– – –



– – –



– – –


May 9th, 2013

Alius Nativitatem


– – –


May 7th, 2013

Fons Et Origo


– – –


May 5th, 2013

Liliae Praelucent Telis

– – –

May 3rd, 2013

Bellum Aquilae

– – –

May 1st, 2013

8416 Byrrus Secundus

– – –

February 22nd, 2013

Web & 2-22


My Two Nights After Your Last Night


26 January 2013

27 January 2013


I Have An Endless Well Of Humiliation & Hope


February 15th, 2013



please press play




10 February 2013 – 117 Minutes

February 13th, 2013



please press play


February 10th, 2013

Color Between


I Stood Before You For You To See – You Got Between My Legs, Took Your Forever Look & Disappeared



When I went through the gate here, I thought I would see sadness, I thought I’d see pain.



A Man Comforting A Child & A Woman Comforting Child



I stood in this one spot but I felt neither so I thought about the color that was between yours.



When the dark came, I felt a painless joy instead, I was about to see…



A Blue Almost Like The Sky



I Reached Out & I Touched So Hard During My Unknown To Me Last Sip That You Thought I Was Taking Your Skin Off

February 9th, 2013

Day One

– – –

February 8th, 2013


one – two – three – four – five – six – seven – eight – nine – ten – eleven – twelve – thirteen – fourteen – fifteen – sixteen
see 1-16 (150MB)

– – –

February 7th, 2013

Blood & Seed


I Saw You & I Looked Up, So When I Saw You Again, I Repeated My Act



I Cannot Fly

February 6th, 2013


see fourteen
one – two – three – four – five – six – seven – eight – nine – ten – eleven – twelve – thirteen – fourteen

February 5th, 2013

Can I Have A Kiss?


She patted me on the knee, like a mother to a child, she wanted me to look up in the sky.



She was already gone, she had already left, there was nothing in the sky to see, yet she still had a question.


February 4th, 2013


see fifteen
one – two – three – four – five – six – seven – eight – nine – ten – eleven – twelve – thirteen – fourteen – fifteen

January 14th, 2013

Tracy / Sharpe – A True Story Book

– – –


One Year Ago Today




My government gave me this photograph of the Earth and my government gave me this fake of the Moon.
It took several governments to give me this photograph of another 173 million objects in the sky.

Of all the places my government could have sent me, they sent me here to this town.
A town named TRACY. Not accepting this 17 day mission #8 was not an option.
At this time I had already been in a condition REDDELTA for 937 days.

It was during this time here I was part of two additional attacks.
One I only witnessed the aftermath and the clean up
while the other I couldn’t see as I was involved.

I do not know which side I was on.

DELTA is usually declared as a localized condition and is not intended to be sustained for substantial periods.



#Tracy, #Fire, #Brother, #Security, #Prostitution, #PTSD, #Attack, #Fight, #Hotel, #ER, #Blood, #Piss, #Tooth, #Stripper, #Semen, #Eureka, #Yosemite, #Cash, #Stolen, #Tongue, #292, #310, #Oil, #Glock, #Joy, #Condom, #Chair, #Tai-Chi, #Tears, #Laughter, #Ink, #Breast, #Silicone, #Saline, #Moon, #Earth, #Lovely-Loops, #Milky-Way, #Alpha, #Bravo, #Charlie, #Delta, #DDJC, #Visibility, #Value, #Velocity, #Sky, #Mission, #January, #Gifts, #Jonathan, #Contractor, #015000534, #Arabs, #KillWomenAndChildren, #ATM, #Decoration, #Drunk, #Fake, #173Million, #Buffet, #1/14, #(365)

– – –


14 January

I had not been to this place in many many many years even if I sometimes wished I could enter once a month or once a day or once an hour or more. I paid the man with the stupid tie so he let me in. It was more than it should be and I hated him for it. It is never quite like I remember it, this time, tonight, it seemed smaller than ever before too. It was more unkempt, more dirty in the ways I wished it wasn’t, it was darker and it no longer possessed an impressive majesty. This night it was not busy, there was no one in my way to get to where I was going inside. There were no workers milling about to peek at like there always had been before. I missed that.

I went to the seat, my very seat I had last sat in here so long ago. Chosen with purpose, with the intent it would yet again serve as my hope designed. I waited and while I did I watched a her, dancing in and out of the light in beat with the music I cannot recall nor likely noticed hearing anyway. She was the kind of woman I cannot meet but want to, the kind of woman I wish I could say I have had but have not. She knows this, it is why I would assume this her is here for me to give my money to. This her at which I was staring however, she would not get my money this night. The song was about to end as I wondered what her face looked like when they applied her ink scars, that’s when it happen and it hadn’t even taken a single song.

“Would you like some company?” Was whispered in my ear so closely I could almost feel her lips. “Yes,” I said, without even looking at her. I wanted to be targeted and chosen, not choose myself. I wanted to know what it felt like to be a customer today, this particular day. So I was, just like that, so I let it begin just like she desired or designed. I took her offered hand and she led the way, when I finally looked at her, well, she looked just like you, to terrifying detail. Only this her, her skin was the opposite color and her hair was absent of any at all………… [continued]

– – –

– – –


Profile View Of Solar Flare Eruption Loops The Size Of Several Earths – On January 15

I didn’t know anything about Tracy, so I looked on the internet and the internet taught me Tracy is most known for a fire.

On August 7, 1998 a fire began at a tire disposal facility in Tracy, California that was illegally storing approximately 7 million tires. Determined too dangerous and polluting to the groundwater to attempt to extinguish, this fire was allowed to burn itself out. Initial reports said it could burn for as long as two weeks.

This Tracy fire would go on to continuously burn for well over two years and the groundwater was polluted anyway.


Fifty Feet Downwind Of:

121 Degrees 25’ 05” W, 37 Degrees 41’ 12” N – On January 15

“Now, nearly 13 years after the fire broke out Aug. 7, 1998, the possible health impact of the black smoke from the burning tires is centered on one family’s eyes.

A mother, her teenage daughter and a 4-year-old daughter living near or downwind from the fire all went blind, and medical researchers suspect the combination of the smoke and a little-known genetic disease could be the cause.”

There, just past the brush, low berm, poles and no dumping sign, is the large pit that was the previous site of S.F. Royster’s Tire Disposal Facility. The fire started the day after Royster lost his final appeal with the waste management board over fire safety concerns.

On August 14, 1998 just 7 days after the fire started, Royster was indicted on bankruptcy fraud charges.

On August 18, 1998 just 11 days after the fire started, Royster died of lung and throat cancer.
– – –


I had already been to the Happiest Place On Earth® not far from here.

I did not find it joyful.

So I decided to go to where I had been told was the most beautiful place on earth instead. It also was not far.
When I got there it was very cold and soon snow began to fall all around me. There was a thick mist hovering in the sky just out of reach.

I could not see what I came to and everywhere I could see looked like it had just been on fire.


– – –

– – –


26 January

[more] – I said, “That is a human tooth in your hand, you need to go to the Emergency Room.” – [continued]


– – –

– – –

December 30th, 2012

Streets Of Fire


December 29th, 2012

Pink Panther

December 28th, 2012

Angels & Demons


December 27th, 2012

Blood In Blood Out


December 26th, 2012

Blue Thunder


December 25th, 2012

Skeleton Key

December 22nd, 2012

Murder, She Wrote

December 20th, 2012

Crystal Skull


December 19th, 2012

Man On The Moon


December 18th, 2012

Rock Me Baby


December 17th, 2012

To Kill A Mockingbird


December 12th, 2012



12-12-12, Birth Of A Man – 40, 7 Meteors


December 12th, 2012

A Stamp & A Date, In Time


Beauty is nothing but a veil over the worst cruelty.”

December 11th, 2012




December 10th, 2012

Day One


7 July 2012


December 8th, 2012

Knee High


33m55s Above Me For Her & Before A Sliver Of Green I Would Soon See That Reminded Me Of Another


– – –

December 6th, 2012

Write Me



December 5th, 2012

Fuck Me



December 4th, 2012

Dead Man Circle

– – –

( touch me )


December 3rd, 2012

Heal Me



December 1st, 2012

Drink Me



November 30th, 2012



The Way I Feel The Wind Blow



She Gave Me A Ride



With The Power Under Her Right Foot & With The Wind Above Her Left Hand


November 26th, 2012

I Left


My Left Eye Void Of Any Of Its Colors & My Right Eye Void Of Any Of Its Sight



The Face I Saw Is The Same For Everyone & I Put All Five Of My Fingers In



– – –



1 Hour Of Mine & 30 Fingers That Aren’t


November 19th, 2012






Every Woman’s Heart Should Bleed For Me

November 16th, 2012

Settlement Three



November 13th, 2012

Ways & Things


I Have Ways & Things I Do Not Want Forever


November 8th, 2012



Dry Ice



& The Woman Sang:

Where were you when I was lonesome? Locked away with freezing cold… When it’s cold I’d like to die.

November 5th, 2012

Above & Below In That T Sharpe


For 596 Days I Didn’t Look & I Didn’t See, Then Yesterday I Did See Just One

Everything Is As It Ever Was & Will Be, I Hope I Don’t Ever See Any One Again

November 3rd, 2012

366 Days Ago


This Day My All Day Would Have Been Your Birthday – 366 Someone Else’s Birthdays Ago



Two Years Ago At Midnight On November 3rd, 2010, Your Birthday, I Started 113 Stories

One Story Every 20 Minutes For 37 Hours, When I Was 37

This All Day, This Year, 2011, I Made 211 Photographs, I Don’t Know Why As You Would Never Be Able To See Them



This Was You Three Days Before What Would Be Your Very Last Birthday


– – –


You Gave Me The Temporary 579 Day Gift Of Being King Edward Once Because I Was Repeatedly & Purposefully Tricked For How I See

For Me, I Believe Nothing Can Disappear


October 29th, 2012

622 Million Cubic KM

October 22nd, 2012












SeeWednesday 11 July 2012 Touch


October 19th, 2012

Aquamarine Underneath The Blue


I Am Desperate & You’re Yellow All Around & Not My Wife



4353 Wisteria Lane Is All Pretend Only I Knew Going In


– – –

October 16th, 2012

King Kong


October 11th, 2012

And I’ll Become The Sea…


Un (Top Secret États-Unis d’Amérique Gouvernement) Secrètement Chapardée Gopher Pétrifiée (Décédé)

– – –

Livré Deux Cent Soixante-Neuf Jours Après La Découverte



October 10th, 2012

See C


October 7th, 2012



No Longer 65

October 3rd, 2012




October 1st, 2012

Bolinus Brandaris


September 30th, 2012

Gently Shaking Infinity


I took her to this place I hadn’t been before, well, for this. The room was filled with woman after woman after woman everywhere I looked. There was no man to be seen except the reflection of myself in the security glass we were about to walk through. I stood beside her watching her fill out the forms as I not so secretly wished I already knew these things about her. I would smile each time she looked up at me, gently shaking. I put my hand through her hair, over and over. I looked around again, there was no where for me to sit, the room was getting crowded and no one was looking at me, even she had stopped. They called her name and she went, I was not allowed. I looked at the chair she had been in that was now quietly empty but I knew it wasn’t for me. I walked outside and looked for a place to sit.

There was no place and all the buildings around this place were bricked and without doors or windows or stoops. So I walked across the street, sat down in the shade right there on the stained concrete and leaned my back into the hard hard hard yellow bricks. I looked up the blue sky, the red bricks across the street and back up at the yellow ones over my head. I slumped down so my elbows rested on the sidewalk with only my head now resting on those hard hard hard yellow bricks. I thought about how nice the breeze was, how cool the shade was and I thought how wonderful it will be to see her face again soon.

Suddenly I was hot. Suddenly it was blindingly bright. Suddenly I could no longer feel the hard hard hard bricks on my back nor head. Suddenly my face was all wet. I pushed my face up off that stained concrete, I straightened my clothes and stood up, wiping my drool off my cheek. I leaned back on the wall, started waiting all over again and thought how hot it was and thought how I missed that breeze and thought how time really is nothing I understand.

I don’t know if she was still your wife then or if the papers had already been signed.

I also didn’t know I wouldn’t see her again after this night that was about to begin.

September 29th, 2012



I sprawled out face down on the bed that was so large I couldn’t feel where it ended. I spread her legs, took a good stare, shut my eyes and placed my face right there just like I like to only this here for the first time. I did all the things I like to and did all the things I hoped she would like me to so that I could make her feel what I like her to. With my eyes still only shut I saw the photographs that adorned this castle I was now in that lined the stairs, the tables, the walls, the refrigerator and the everywhere else. This was the very source of a man not mine.

September 27th, 2012



September 24th, 2012













September 19th, 2012

I See You Waiting


For You Will Only Truly Profit From The Death Of Me Or My Love



So Every Hour Of Every Day I Wait For All My Love To Die



Now Stand Bravely In The Open, Against All Hope

– – –

& Wait For Her (Him, Them) To Take All Your Beauty & Laugh While You Pretend To Flee


September 17th, 2012

Battalion 18


My Love Was Stolen & Anything I Build Will Be Burnt To The Ground
– – –
(These Are Not Metaphors)

June 25th, 2012


see # thirteen | touch # thirteen

one – two – three – four – five – six – seven – eight – nine – ten – eleven – twelve – thirteen

see # one – thirteen | touch # one – thirteen


365×5, Today

June 19th, 2012


June 18th, 2012


Almost Soon & Desire

June 17th, 2012

Sincerity Ago


I Mistook An Introduction Of A Great Hate For A Great Love



365×3, Today

June 11th, 2012

Lost Last Daydream


Love Your Venus

June 5th, 2012

Forever Sky Fire


The Strength Of My Seed Is Stronger Than The Hate In Your Heart



Venus Against The Sun


5 June 2012 – 13:14:43 \ (GMT -7:00)

5 June 2012 – 15:50:04 \ (GMT -7:00)


Today I Touched An Ocean

Today I Made A Device To See This On The Only Day I Could

Yesterday I Learned Two Loves Have Now Birthed A Son They Each Named Sky


Today I Let The Fire I Could See Burn Me


May 31st, 2012




May 30th, 2012




May 29th, 2012




May 28th, 2012




May 27th, 2012




May 27th, 2012




May 27th, 2012


May 27th, 2012

Over & Over & Over

I Have Lost Count Of All My Loves Husbands & Children

May 27th, 2012




May 27th, 2012

See Touch Skin

May 27th, 2012

Woody Allen


Die Rooi Van Jou Lippe



Vir jou, jou ouers kies die naam Bronwyn.

May 27th, 2012



Matching Mirrors Over Only Your Eyes

May 27th, 2012



Not With One Bite, But Two


May 27th, 2012

I Cannot Fly

May 27th, 2012


May 27th, 2012

Not Flag Day


I said, “If I am correct, I get to run your bra up my grandmother’s flag pole.”



Two Hours After We Met

Me Looking Up & Me Looking Down & Your Eyes Not Closed But Blinking


May 27th, 2012


May 27th, 2012

182 Second Canyon

May 27th, 2012

Cheesecake Factory ®

– – –

May 27th, 2012

#6585, #A, #6–


May 27th, 2012



$55.75 I Didn’t Gift


I had thrown away almost everything I had. I put the few things I didn’t in a place I thought was safe, the best I could find. I then ran to the only place available.

All my books & all my negatives I put in that place I thought was safe, I have learned was nothing but a front, for a cartel.

The place available I landed wasn’t what it was suppose to be, either.

I believe everything I see & anyone tells me. All the time.

True Story(ies)

May 27th, 2012

210 Pink

May 27th, 2012





May 27th, 2012

Too Many Hearts To Count

May 27th, 2012

Meet Me


One Second & The Next & Meet Me & North One Zero One


She Sucked Up All You Had To Offer, Assimilated It And Moved On

May 27th, 2012


It Was Standing Right Here, On This Corner, In This Area Of An Unmapped Where I Could Hear The Dalmatian Laughing

The False Everything Of Each Train Whistle I Hear From Where I Stay


May 27th, 2012

Tre ch ərē


| ˈtre ch ərē |

noun ( pl. -er•ies)

Betrayal of trust; deceptive action or nature :

His resignation was perceived as an act of treachery | the treachery of language.



Belief & Hope Are My Foundations

May 27th, 2012

Wet Falls From The Sky

A Sign I Saw Made By Hands In The Streets

In The Face Of Overwhelming Proof I Never Really Believed

Until I Saw A Sign Made By Machines On A Street, Many See Everyday

Taught Me The Nature Of True Upward Mapped Direction

May 26th, 2012

My Source Forty Four


This May Makes A 44 Year Promise Kept, So This May I Promise To Make 44, (I Made 54)


May 25th, 2012

Go Metro



May 24th, 2012



I was tired and frustrated and slammed into a median.”



The Last Time I Saw You Was Much Like The First

Gifts for Joy Pain:

(2nd Meeting, ICU, Before “Oops“)

Glow Bracelets
Fuzzy Socks
Soft Hoodie
Out of Date Cosmopolitan Magazine
Chocolate Cupcakes



One (Top Secret U.S. Government) Secretly Pilfered Petrified Gopher (Deceased)



May 23rd, 2012

Gift After Gift


On My Wish Or Need, Often Before I Am Aware Of Either

May 22nd, 2012



My First Three

May 21st, 2012

Myth See


I saw her Myths while she sat across from me eating & huddled. I mustered all my courage to ask to see them forever.

The only word I ever heard her say was, “Yes.”



I Didn’t Tell Her, “I Want To Fuck All Your Myths, One At A Time.”



She Did Not Ask To See Mine


May 20th, 2012

Touch MsOiTsHtEeRr Shape


Against All Odds



“They Are My Life”

Right & Left & Left & Right

May 19th, 2012



16 Years

May 18th, 2012

Close To A Place Of Yes

May 17th, 2012


May 16th, 2012

133 Seconds

May 15th, 2012

3 Seconds


May 14th, 2012


May 13th, 2012

Your Sparkles West


Your Breasts Sparkle Under Keeping Your Forever Promise

May 12th, 2012

Your Sparkles East


Your Breasts Sparkle With Fire Under Your Half Broken Heart

May 11th, 2012

Sweet Dreams®


I was in a room given to me as I had no where else to go in a town that was once my home but was no longer.
I had been just near here over 100 or more times & never ever wanted to stay, here.



I was given 7 hours here for free to sleep & I couldn’t. I wanted the rain & the snow I saw through the glass to cover my skin. I tried to open the window yet it only moved the width of my thumb & the width of my finger. So I stuck them both in the crack & felt the wet offered from the sky. I then pulled my hand out, pushed my face in that crack & stuck my tongue out as far as I was able, I wanted to taste that wet, too.

I wanted to hear the wind scream as it whipped around the glass & around the crack, so I left the glass open all night.



The other glass in the room looked the same when I looked at it, only it wasn’t wet. So I turned it on using its buttons.



Upon it, immediately, was an image of a woman on fire.



Then there was a woman in pain or pleasure or both, I couldn’t tell the difference.



Then there was home on fire that faded over or with or into a moon, a full moon. I do not know which came first or any other kind of what or why.

– – –

I turned it off and never, for so long ever, looked again.
I took all the sheets off the bed. I took all the pillows off the bed. I only left myself one, the one that had the message, seemingly just for me.
The one I imagine still had other all over it & I rested my face upon it.



I pretended I was many a Sweet Dreams® & I let the wet drops of rain & snow from my face drip all over it for the next others.


Almost a year later from this night & a half a year ago now, I was staring at a piece of glass in another room I didn’t want to be within. On that glass appeared a woman I had never seen before whose hair almost appeared to be on fire. She screamed over and over:


You can’t choose what stays and what fades away.”

May 10th, 2012

Five Fingers On My Hand

See Album – One Fifty Three

One, Of A Five Volume Album Set

The First Settlement

City Of The Violet Crown


Queen Edward


May 9th, 2012

Wish Day


I Feel Like I Was Born Yesterday But I Only Wish I Was

May 8th, 2012

Stage Sound



You won’t get disappointed


Hey honey,

I want you so bad you are my only wish…

May 7th, 2012

I Am

I stopped in front of a place because I saw this car. I parked and made this one photograph of it. A man approached and proclaimed:

“You must be an American?”

I said,

“I Am.”

He said,

“Be Proud.”

I said,

“I am. Can I take your picture with your car?”

He said,

“You bet.”

I said,

“Lean forward, more into the light. Thank you.”

Then he drove away. I went in this place and I bought M&M’s®. They were in a blue package.

May 6th, 2012



May 5th, 2012

Each Earned Decoration


“Each one hurt, in their own ways.”


Stand Before Us All, Make All Our Promises Last Forever, By The Power In You

May 4th, 2012

Anniversary 4 May

4th Day, 5th Month, All Day, A Bull Man With The Official Beginning K

Press Play To See My All This Day

When I turned 18, America forcibly taught me my life was less valuable than a woman’s. I never got over this. I don’t know where you’re from. I don’t know what you learned. I don’t know how you learned it. I know I didn’t invite you here. I know I didn’t ask you anything. I know I didn’t say anything to you. I don’t know what you want from me. I don’t know if you want my money. I don’t know if you want my attention. You just appeared here all on your own, a MAPS spelled backwards, deaf, mute and blind to any real me, seeing you. I waited for you to leave, as is my nature, but my source of energy died.

So how did you know how old I almost was? How do you know I shave my head? How did you know it’s hard to be me? How did you know I cannot catch on? How do you know I don’t know what I am doing? How did you know I am an asshole? How did you know I am terrified of you? Do you really think I am fine?

Do you really want to thank me?

They Don’t Get Life The Way I Get It

May 3rd, 2012

Something About An Offering


Sell My Or Me Something In Death

May 2nd, 2012

[Email Titled With A Name]




Passed away at 915PM this evening

Sent via BlackBerry® by AT&T™


Received 921PM Equivalent

14 April 2012



The doctor called your daughter, she got in her car to come see you after she called your son.

Your son, he then got in his car to come see you, too. One took only a few minutes, one took several hours.

They were both there before you went away.



Thirty Of My Minutes Twelve Minutes After Those Six


May 1st, 2012

No Longer Known As April


The New-York Historical Society

– – –

I Saw Abraham On The Steps & I Slapped Him As Hard As I Could

He Is Not As Tall As His Legend & His Bronze Did Not Hurt My Hand But Instead Gave It Pleasure

April 11th, 2012

Dream Lot Here

Pretend To Be You On The Most Famous Lot In The World

– – –


please press play


March 28th, 2012





March 26th, 2012

I Am Coyote


press play

Today I saw a bat on a stake. Today I saw a bird on a roost. Today I saw a spider in a crevasse.

Today I saw a mountain lion on a perch. Today I saw a snake in the grass. Today I saw a bird in a cage.


Can You Hear Me Breathing ?

March 25th, 2012


15 October 1997

#3, A 100 Page Letter To Amy In 40 Days


Maybe or maybe not the day I wrote this witnessed event down, I went over to a friends.
It was late. His woman was away. I slumped into a chair and starred at my feet. This friend of mine said, “You smell like a marker.”

March 24th, 2012



Happy Birthday To My Love & My Sorrow



3/21 and 3B4

March 23rd, 2012

See What You

I Want To See What You Were Seeing


Closer Quiet

March 22nd, 2012

This 280


Circles Equal A Sum Of What Has Become

Precisely As A Science I Wish I Couldn’t Measure

March 21st, 2012

When His Eyes Are Closed


I Can See The Raindrops Your Hair Is Holding

March 19th, 2012

On The Other Side Of The World

March 16th, 2012

A Cup & A Pickle


Six maybe seven years ago I was in the bodega across from my home, waiting in a line. I looked behind me as I was bored and frustrated and impatient. There, directly behind me was a woman towering over me, so it seemed. I am six feet and an inch, yet she was even taller. I had to look up to see her eye to eye and I liked this, a great deal. I was frozen. I couldn’t stop staring. Her hair, her features and her stare, her stare forward and as bored as I felt, I was frozen. I was staring at her and I didn’t care and she didn’t notice. I remember her clothes, the way she shifted her weight with impatience in that same damn line directly behind me. I remember her fidgets, the way she sighed, the way she played with her hair and the way she walked by me when she left, each movement as if planned to be full of nothing but grace. The woman I had come here with noticed all this and laughed at me for being such a fool. I laughed too. Over a short time, back there, back then, I would see her only 4 more times. Each of these times I became as frozen as before. I didn’t find it funny anymore and neither did the woman I had been there with for all that time so long ago.


Then some years went by. The woman I had been there with left me and I left that place to live in the home of my grandmother far far away, a woman whose first name belonged to only to her. In all my time alive, only she had this name and I had never met another. I lived in her home for over a year waiting for something it took me far too long to realize wasn’t real. So when I knew this, with all my heart, I left it and went to another new place, far away from the there of being frozen and far away from the there where I had waited. Then, right after I arrived here where I now am, this woman of only this name, my grandmother, died before I was ready and moments before her birthday.


Then some days went by. I received a letter of electronic from a stranger on a place where lonely look to cure it. I looked, I read and I saw a photograph with a description of height. I recognized her immediately when I would later learn I was nothing but a stranger to her, I was frozen, again… It was the woman who had been behind me in line, 6 years prior or maybe 7 years prior. I didn’t know how to tell her, I wasn’t sure I should tell her and knew I didn’t want to tell her. But I did tell her, all because she found me first not knowing what I can remember…


I was about to meet the only other woman who shared my grandmother’s name.



The second time I met her we ate a meal, we told each other stories and we went for a walk and a drive. Just to make things. We found the light we liked in the dark. We parked my chariot close and left the music up, loudly. Then I would walk up behind her, place my arms around her and with her forever machine I watched her make her hands dance, just for me while I stood too close watching the forever machine’s screen through her hair as she leaned back into me.


Press Play – Her Here With Feathers In Her Hair


Before we met for the first time, we discovered that we were born just days apart, the same year. We discovered our fathers started their lives the same way. We discovered that some of the same people were in our overlapping circles from lives long ago and we discovered that we once lived across the street from one another, for a very long time. From my old there of frozen, if we were to have looked the correct direction from our doorways, we would have seen the home door of the other. We were this close for that long so long ago, yet I only saw her five times, back then.

Before we met for the first time, I told her, “I’d like to take photo of us, standing side by side, full length against a plain wall anywhere outside, two strangers side by side but holding hands.” During our first time together, she asked me why I hadn’t taken it yet. I told her it was because I was shy. She told me the light was fading and that I better hurry. So I did. I stopped us right where we were. There was a brown wall and there was a place to set my forever machine. I set the machine, got it ready, asked her to set her cup down, pressed the button, walked over to her, stood next to her, held her hand for the first time and I waited. I would only notice the pickle, at my feet, moments before I first sent it to her.



When we met for the first time, we talked and talked and talked.
We would discover that many of our lives greatest and worst moments, had the same timeline.
Sometimes just days apart.


– – –


When we met for the third time, I didn’t know it would be the last.

I only made one picture that lovely night and I’ve already shared it, before today.


March 14th, 2012



I fly a Texas flag on my shoulder somedays but not for the why’s people think I may when they see it. When I am sometimes too early to a place I have to be, I come here. At first because I am lazy, indifferent, it’s easy and all that is nearby this other place I must be.

Inside this place, each early morning, there are many many men. These many many men talk openly and randomly to no one in particular, sometimes they engage each other without direction or purpose because, well, there are no women there to talk to and they have what appears no where else to be.

They are there each time I go, no matter which early morning arches I find myself under.

I pretend I cannot hear it all, see it all, because I do not want to. I do not want to hear it, see it or be one of them. Yet, there I often sit.

Not this day you see, I was leaving and one man looked me in the eye, from his perch next to his many many man brother.

They stopped their talk of His Revelations just for Me:


Saved Man – “Hey Texas! You from Texas?”

Me – “Sort of, but from there, no sir.”

Saved Man – “Where about’s son? I am from Houston.”

Me – “I could have guessed that, tis the way life presents itself to me.”

Saved Man – “[Loud, Rancorous, Laughter]”

Me – “Curry Creek, well, San Antonio.”

Saved Man – “I haven’t been back to Houston in……. Um, I don’t know now, 25 years.”

Me – “I have been there more recently than that.”


Saved Man next to Saved Man, clutching a very worn, large black bible:


“I am from Houston too.”

“I am from Houston too.”

“I am from Houston too.”


This very old man never looked me in the eye and never stopped softly repeating this. His hair was white, his skin almost translucent, his blue eyes nervously surveying all of me but my blue eyes. The other man was with a worn red face of hard outdoor living, a black jacket and perched on top of his head, with him on his perch, was one old, straw, equally as beaten as his face, cowboy hat.


I pretended to tip the cowboy hat I was not wearing and stepped out into the sunlight because I could not fly.



March 12th, 2012

Dying Holes


Someone’s little girl once riding next to me in a car, a little girl not unlike one that could maybe be mine, in the quiet pointed out the window and said:

“Dying holes.”

We all laughed and kept driving by a place much like this one.


This day #145, I looked out my window, up the hill and saw someone’s little girl at a similar hole in the ground because this is how much she still loves who stays there. She took flowers, a bag of her things, sat on a soft white blanket and removed her shoes so she could feel the grass on her bare skin. The other side of that grass on her skin, also touches who stays down there. This is what she wanted to feel since she cannot touch anything else, skin to skin.



Three days later, I looked up this same hill, someone else who stays in a hole nearby must have also felt that love through that grass.

It would appear this other left their hole to maybe try and find her. That someone’s little girl’s love was just that strong.


I Am Only Still Here Because I Still Love You More Than This

March 9th, 2012




I need you to love me


I want you to give me your love, I need you to love me.

March 8th, 2012




i wannted to send u my photo long


i wannted to send u my photo long ago, but i was afraid that u dont like to see me. i hope u like it.

March 7th, 2012






Sorry, I hope that last note didn’t come off like me sounding asshole-ish. I realize it could have read that way, but that’s not the way I meant it. I’m just tentative to have given you my address because I don’t know we stand and I know you have a propensity to want to share things. Giving you my address is like sharing a bed with you — you have so much Access to me, and that’s not something many people have. I’m very private in that regard.

I know you understand this or I wouldn’t have told you. I hope you understand, rather. I really want to see you and sharing with you means a lot to me. No matter what strange region we inhabit.

March 6th, 2012

Terry Would



Look me up


Hey honey,

I’m a freak in bed and I want to spend the whole night with you.
What are you waiting for, come find me…

March 5th, 2012

Cross Canyon



I’ve got a crush on you



I thinks i saw you once and i really liked you.

March 2nd, 2012


February 29th, 2012



February 27th, 2012


February 24th, 2012

You & Here


I Wanted You & You To Make Something Beautiful Here In This Grid



Here Or Here Or Here



Here Or Here Or Here



Here Or Here Or Here Times Six Hundred Thirty Seven (x637) Others, This My All Lucky Day #142


February 22nd, 2012

Mister MR


Los Angeles

February 20th, 2012



Only Because You Asked Me To Did I Take This One


February 17th, 2012

Muse Mute


A Bird, A Tree & A Skull



Los Angeles

February 15th, 2012

Nourishment From A Source

” the milk is good

so are we. ”


A Movie Poster Was Written Just For Me – Day 137 – I Hung It On My Wall

February 13th, 2012



I Do Not Want To Be The Recipient Of Your Love Or Your Hate.” – This My All Day

Morgan Hill, CA



Everything Is A Circle & Something Is Always On Fire, Somewhere



Here I Saw An Untrue Word Under A Not Real Sun & I Have Never Seen A Horse Fly Anywhere I Have Been


February 10th, 2012

Eve Hunter


February 8th, 2012


February 6th, 2012


February 4th, 2012

Mikhail Baryshnikov & Willem Dafoe


I Can See My Shadow, Everyday & Everybody Blinks, All The Time


I saw the light and put that window to my right down all the way. I pressed the gas, harder. I outstretched my arm and made my machine ready. I didn’t even look at it or through it. I don’t need to anymore. When I needed to, I pressed the button, harder.

Somewhere this very night, there were two men, shirtless, pantless, barefoot & not angry in a field of tall green grass all burnt black with a single light shining down upon them all in yellow. These two men were fighting, these two men were trying to fucking beat one another with all their might. The blood and broken bones meant nothing any more, all that mattered was the breath in their hearts for they each wanted the others.

January 31st, 2012

Story Of A Poke


I had only ever been to two operas so far. Both at the Met, both with a woman, each a different woman, both times made me cry, years and years apart. The first hadn’t been planned. I had planned a grand romantic night that involved a play. Thirty minutes before that curtain, we learned the actress we came to see roll around in her underwear, would not perform this night. Annoyed, I grabbed my true loves hand, left the theater, hailed us a cab, went to the only place I knew would be better, bought us tickets in the orchestra, went in, sat down and waited, mere moments. The lights went down, the stage slowly glowed brighter and the lone dark figure of a man started his moaning over some strings singing, moaning, even lower than him. It had only been a few seconds of lovely noise, but I was crying like I never had before. I couldn’t stop until he did. Then I spent the next hour waiting for the intermission so I could pee. These two feelings, were both, incredibly painful, just as it was when this woman slipped away before I could catch her, years later.

The next wanted to go with me to an opera as I think I told her how much the first had meant and she had never been. The Met was so close to my home, I wanted to take her. We got dressed up, we walked outside my home, we had my neighbor take a photograph of us, I hailed us a cab and we went. We held hands, we went inside, found what would turn out to be our private box and when it started, they played the one piece, the only piece I wanted or came to hear, they got it out of the way, just for me. When it was over, I watched her look around and listen and stare back at me. When she wasn’t looking, I would wipe away the random tear before she could see it. You see, she was already the wife of another even though I met her first. Later, when she had left him and found me again, she met her next husband while we were together.



I was on a plane somewhere once and had to stop at an in between somewhere to switch flights. My second flight got delayed, many many many hours. I got bored and checked a social site I usually didn’t. On this site, I learned the woman I was to see where I was going was “in a relationship” with someone that made her “all kinds of happy.” She knew I was to see her, you see, she had invited me to without telling me all this. Not much longer later, another woman who no longer wanted me around, much to do because of this other, I saw on this site was still using my photograph of her, well, us, as her icon. She wouldn’t return my calls or my notes or see me, but there we were for her all to see. This same site also wouldn’t stop showing me those I chose not to see and this site was showing me my images, that I did not want there, of those that also no longer desired me, using my images of them to meet their next. All these things were incredibly painful.

On July 11, 2009, I had spent the day making something, like I always do on this day. DIES SATURNI XI JULIUS MMIX. It had been a long day, a stressful day. I lost a competition I didn’t want to, I walked in the woods making things because I couldn’t forget something, I had recently returned from a journey far away full of wonderment, the one I wanted to see here this night was not in town and I drove, a lot. It was getting late, I didn’t want to stop making things, I didn’t want to lose my mood. Yet, I was invited to a party and I wanted to go, so I did. I walked around in the crowd where I didn’t know anyone, I wanted to leave. I found the birthday man, wished him his well and turned to leave. He pointed to the corner, in this corner I saw a circle of men I believe to be my brothers, so I stayed. The night got better, just like that. Before I left this crowd, I met a woman. We exchanged hello’s and she took a picture of us together, she in fact took two. Later in the following days, she invited me to know her on this or that same social site. I accepted, I blushed and sent her the pictures I took, well, she took, we took, then that was that.



Over the next year and half, on this social site, I watched this woman from the party post self portraits, often. Very often. They were from all over the place. Not just down the street in my once city, but all over and further away. I liked this. At some point, long after it happen, as I didn’t visit this site often, I noticed she had poked me. I liked this, too. I never responded, I just like seeing it there, whenever I visited this place, over all this time. She knows more photographers than I do. She knows more about the photographers I sometimes secretly wish I was than I do, too. She’s been on more sets than I ever will. She knows legends, like you and I cannot or ever will. All because she does what she does, very well. All the sudden, a year and half later after this party, I had a thought: I really miss New York City, I really want to go to the opera again and I really want to go, with her. We had not spoken since this party. So I went to the site I didn’t want to and I wrote her, I asked her, I told her the short story of this old poke. Shortly there after, she agreed, in fact, she, “Happily accepted.” So long as her work didn’t take her far away again and she also told me, “Most flattering message ever.” I told her this note of hers made me blush, again.

I didn’t tell her this was the real why I was coming to New York City. I pretended I was there to see the city. I pretended I was there to meet the clients. I pretended I was there to see what it felt like to return after all my time away and the friends of mine I saw there all really knew, the real why without it being said. But all that I could know without visiting and I was right, all that was just what I thought, but I was here, I was returning for just one thing. I was here for a night like only New York City offers. I was here, for this date, with her. I bought my plane ticket, I bought us opera tickets and the dates worked, it was time to go.

I liked this.



I hadn’t heard her voice since that summer night so long ago. I didn’t want to either, not until I could see her face with it. We slowly started texting as the night grew closer. She asked me what colors I would be wearing and I told her. We would be matching, we would be dressed as we should, for a night just like this. I arrived early, very early. I walked in circles all around this famous place. It was the coldest night of the year here and I couldn’t feel my hands as I looked at things with my machine. We started texting more frequently as that curtain time drew near. She was almost on her way. She asked me if I would remember her, I told her through the pain of my cold fingers, almost unable to type, “Yes.” I kept walking in circles. It was still an hour to curtain.



I could feel she was close. I put my machine away and went inside, my useless, painfully cold hands jammed into my pockets. I thought that if I were to touch her with them in a hello, I did not want them cold. If we were to touch hello, I wanted it warm and pleasant for her. I saw her through the glass in a door of circles, I think I saw her before she saw me but I don’t know. I remember smiling and seeing her do the same. I remember almost nothing else in this moment other than that I was happy she was here. I was happy she showed up.  I was happy she was my date and that I no longer felt any cold.

I liked this.



I checked our coats. I bought us wine to eat and I bought us cookies to drink. We stood there in this building draped in red telling each other stories about how we maybe ended up here together this night and what we both do in our time when not here. Everyone else was taking their seats but we kept talking. She asked me if she could have a print of mine someday, I told her, “Any.” The lights flickered and we found our seats, almost against that curtain that finally rose once we sat. She sat right near the rail and I sat just to her right and slightly behind her. I couldn’t see the stage so well but I didn’t really want to, she was here, they were about to sing to me, I had everything I wanted this night.

I liked this.



I sat there in the dark, listening, daydreaming, nightdreaming, my eyes open, my eyes closed, listening more, staring at this, staring at that and yes, staring at her. Every so often, she would fidget in her seat and toss her hair. I would toss it back, just so she’d turn and look back at me. I liked this but I don’t think she did, so I stopped. During the intermissions the lights would arise and we would look around at everyone else, looking around and at one another. Everyone was beautiful from up here in this inside warm sky.



I let her catch me staring at her leg. I reached out and moved her dress just so, making sure the skin of my thumb ran across and could feel the texture of her hose. It was beautiful, it felt beautiful and she let me take a photograph of this, it looks beautiful too.



For a year and half I had watched her take photographs of herself and then share them with me, everyone. Now here we were, here I was, next to her, in this specific place. She was holding my machine, she out stretched her arm and with my machine, she took her own photograph.

I liked this.



We bundled back up and braved the frigid air to find a place to share a meal. It was now somehow even colder outside than it was before. I hailed us a chariot. I told her, “Anywhere.” She chose her favorite. It was in her neighborhood. It was two blocks from her apartment. As happenstance would have it, it was my old neighborhood. It was on my old block. It was feet, feet from my door of 13 years and for many of these years, it was our neighborhood, at least until I had left it. While we ate, while we told each other stories, I thought that if I could erase these walls, drill a hole through these walls, stick my arm through these walls, right where I was now sitting, here this night, less than 25 feet from where I sat for those 13 years, dreaming of telling stories just like this one… If I could just reach that old me still sitting there, I would tell him:

“Don’t leave.”


I hailed her a chariot as she requested, it was too late, it was too cold and her heels too high to be walking those two long long blocks to her home. I stood there in that New York City slush in the middle of the street and watched her go down that street in that yellow chariot, down my street, already remembering what her hair felt like brushing against me as we embraced good night.

Then I stood under my tree, the one tree in front of my door I have hundreds of photographs of and I photographed it again, I don’t know why. It was snowing again. I turned around and stood in my doorway that is no longer mine. I stared at my name, still on the buzzer now without me really there. I wanted to try the door, I know how to open it without the key, but I didn’t. I turned around and then I made the left I made thousands of times out of the doorway to the end of the block. Then I made the left I made thousands of times down the next the block. Then I photographed that lock I photographed hundreds of times. Then I crossed the avenue I have crossed thousands of times. Then I crossed the street I crossed thousands of times. Then I made the left down the block I made thousands of times. Then I made the right down Broadway I made thousands of times. Then I waited for the train I waited for thousands of times. Then I sat on the train I sat on thousands of times.


Then I thought to myself, my date was the most beautiful woman at the opera and we don’t know anything about each other, but we were both still there.

I thought these things because they were both true.

I liked this, but I never want to go to an opera again.



She never told me which print of mine she wanted & I cannot go back to my home, even when I want to.


This Night 365 Nights Ago


People have told me time heals all wounds thousands of times but I think they are liars because I still feel everything, I ever did.

January 30th, 2012



Hole Place Of Covet

January 27th, 2012



i like to tell stories | twelve | see #12



i like to tell stories | #1 – #12


January 14th, 2012

Fahrvergnügen 911



Please Press Play & Watch All 311 Seconds

– – –

The first time I was here, I didn’t know where I was, it was just a green place on the map, along the way and close to where I was already going.


It felt like an emergency, so I wanted to call 911:

What is your emergency?

She never told me she was married, even when I asked her directly. I think she was married before I met her!

Sir, that is not illegal.


The second time I was here, I didn’t know where I was, I was just told it was close. So I left a gift here at the base of a castrated tree.


It felt like an emergency, so I wanted to call 911:

What is your emergency?

After hundreds of thousands of words, after thousands of photographs, after knowing her all the ways a man can, after so much, more…

She gave me a fake address!

Sir, that is not illegal.


The third time I was here, I didn’t know where I was, I was just told it was close. I retrieved the gift unwanted, I didn’t want to litter.


It felt like an emergency, so I wanted to call 911:

What is your emergency?

She is rewriting all my love letters, for all her others, over and over and over, no matter how much I beg her stop!

Sir, that is not illegal.


The fourth time I was here, I knew exactly where I was. I had been here in the morning, I had been here in the afternoon, I had been here when the air is filled with sunshine and I had been here when the air is filled with rain. There was always only one sun in the sky, each of these first three times. Now I knew better. As here, in this real place on earth, only in the dark, one can see this place is actually lit with more suns in the sky than one can count or should look up and ever see, at any one time. This is the time, I finally learned to see, what is created here under that single sun, isn’t really what I was being shown, told, allowed and led to believe from the beginning…

Belief is all I ever sought here.

– – –

I had come all this way this fourth time to make just my specific four here in all that darkness I know how to make look like brightness. I finished and returned to my chariot left where I always leave it here. It was late and it was still dark, very. I was putting away my tools when a chariot came towards me around the bend and down the slight rise in the road. There hadn’t been any others and now I was being blinded by two beams of light from this specific one. I looked right at them and they must have looked right at me. This moving chariot now slowed when it saw me, abruptly so. This chariot crawled by then sped up and away after passing. I saw no one inside it in all that blinding dark but the master of this machine had seen me and known me by sight, of this I have no doubts… Was it you in a ride of new, was it the secret husband in his, was it a public partner of work and or love in hers, was it just another other anything, was it just another nothing? I know I’ll never know, just like you always wanted.


Silver Fahrvergnügen BV1


111 Seen In White Oak

















150 pages – 111 Photographs – 25 Transcripts – 2 Maps – 1/1000 Limited Edition Tinker Bell “The Happiest Place On Earth” Commemorative Pin



Inscribed & Signed White Oak Book With Custom Constructed & Sealed White Oak Wood Containment

* – $0



* – in January 2012, This Special Edition 1/1 White Oak was placed, where it was made, right here:

Latitude: 29°46’52.82″N & Longitude: 95°22’30.45″W



Planted by an alive picture man on his birthday.

Told for a dead picture man on his birthday, 14 January 1928.

– – –

January 1st, 2012

Heart U



December 30th, 2011


December 25th, 2011


December 22nd, 2011



Vobis Eadem


Dies Lunae XI Julius MMXI – V
Annos Postquam Annos Postquam Annos Postquam Annos* Postquam Annos

* – IV Forthcoming


Please Press Play

Gratias Agimus Tibi & Tactus Numero Quinque

December 19th, 2011

Behind A Curtain

There’s No Place Like Home, There’s No Place Like Home, There’s No Place Like Home

I Once Drove By A Home Late At Night & Through The Window I Saw Behind A Red Curtain
I Once Drove Under Ruby Slippers On A Wire So I Clicked Three Times & Made A Wish
Everything I Never Wanted, Say The Word
Now One Year Without A Single Heard

December 18th, 2011

1 Hour Before, 1 Hour After

December 17th, 2011

Say The Word Brother

Press Play – I Wanted To Last Longer Than You But My Exercise & Demonstration Was Different – Press Play

You have a code word that you can use for distress:

That word is “red.”
Say the word
( @ 2:30 )

This Man, This Place Where Ideas Come From, Just Died, He Did This In Houston

48 Hours Before He Passed, A Woman I Spent The Almost End Of The World With, Told Me Something I Didn’t See Coming, But Should Have

December 15th, 2011

Dad Loves Me

Please Press Play

– – –

Martha’s Bells

Great, Grand, Daughter

December 13th, 2011



Same State, Same City, Same Ballet, Same Hotel, Different Room, Different Skin, Different Time


December 11th, 2011

Pearl Harbor Day + 70 Years

703 Days Before I Knew

393 Days Before I Knew

Fly Little Man Fly, I Didn’t See You Coming

I Made 4000+ Of You, You Made Less Than 10 Of Me
This Is Me Inside Of You
You Made By Me & Me Made By You