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i almost felt bad about doing it, till i started, i needed to photograph, i needed it to be a real camera, on film and of something important. it felt amazing, i miss photography, the way i used to do it. the gravity of the images is still so different, the way you hold it, look thru it, everything, i miss it all. she survived, now she hasn’t seen these yet, so she may hate me, or hate the images, in fact, i know she will. o well, at the end of the day, she knows i made them with love, at least i hope she does….
now the lab hasn’t sent the bill, the scanning took hours, and the images are far from printable, so in that sense, as in cost and labor, i don’t miss film, but i have spent some 16h scanning in the last 40h or so, and i only made 30 scans or so out of 1 roll of 220 and 3 rolls of xpan, ouch.
sometimes at night when i am really close to L and staring at her in the dark, there is a familiarity in her face, a sense of history, it could be the history we have built, i know that’s most of it, but by the second scan of the 7 i made, i couldn’t stop thinking of migrant mother by dorothea lange, the hair, the features, the seriousness. it was all there. besides, L’s whole life revolves around helping others, so the spirit of why migrant mother is so well known plays in as well…. or i am just insane, one or both could easily be the answer.
“The camera is an instrument that teaches people how to see without a camera.” – Dorothea Lange
which is perfect for L, she does hate those damn cameras.
