i like to tell stories

i like to tell stories | Quarterly #1-8 Collected | 164 pages | soft to the touch



i like to tell stories

June 25, 2007 – June 25, 2010 | 1096 Days | 1084 Published Stories | 126 Unpublished Stories


ask to touch one

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1.96 Seconds Of My Haunting | May 31, 2010

196 Photographs At 1/100 A Second In 31 Minutes 14 Seconds

Woman Hollering Creek

“According to legend, a woman who has recently given birth drowns her newborn in the river because the father of the child either does not want it, or leaves with a different woman. The woman then screams in anguish from drowning her child. After her death, her spirit then haunts the location of the drowning and wails in misery. The legend has many different variations and there has even been occasional sightings of the restless woman’s spirit. The legend also states that if you get too close to the water, the hollering woman will drag you in, hoping you are her child.” – Wikipedia

I was driving east from where I now live. On this drive, on this road, one crosses many streams, creeks and rivers. This being Texas, there is a sign for almost each one, so you know which water running you are crossing as you cross it.

I stopped at the first one, only this first one.

At each one, I dreamed of the wet underneath. I was hot and I imagined that wet would be a comfort. At each one, every muscle in my body and in my brain was telling me to stop, to not go further and to turn my chariot around. Yet my heart, that damn thing was telling me to floor it, faster and faster and find that next wet to cross, as with each one, I was almost where I had been dreaming of. Dreaming of that wet I had lost.

My heart will always win.

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Austin, TX | June 16, 2010 | 2 Minutes, 2 Seconds


I Believe Everything I See, Still, I Just No Longer Trust It

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8 Minutes In The Hour Of 8 | June 21, 2010



Twenty Four Hours Has Now Passed

In these hours I have been tested and tried against many odds on a measurable scale while standing on my own, I saw a portrait of an unborn child, I saw proof of love forever believed in, I have a new way to communicate with a tool I can hold in my own hands and as I had hoped all 24h long, a new battery has successfully been started. Of all this I am quite grateful.

We were invited to witness the beginning of people changing themselves, fixing themselves, all by making themselves less than they are now. If I could make myself half of what I am now to be a better man, in the environment of this challenge they were facing, I like to think I would try too. This today was not about me and the weight I was feeling was so very different yet just as hard to shed. Some moments of bravery we saw this day were nothing short of extraordinary.

A Spa By A River In Texas On A Hot Day

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One Day Long Ago I Held A Green Balloon

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April 13, 2010 | 7:09:54 PM

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A Girl From Brooklyn In Texas

15 Hours Before I Left #1RN

False Eyelashes, 8 Years After Being Stuck Down | #1RN | 2010

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I could see her shaking, feel it. It went faster then I thought and she was gone, I watched her go down the stairs and through the turnstile. Then she was gone. I stood there in disbelief, she couldn’t really be leaving New York City, it couldn’t be real, it really didn’t feel it. I had never been with someone so long.

I stood there a minute trying to soak it in.

I was down the stairs and through the turnstile before I knew what was happening. I walked as fast as I could without actually running, going through the mid-town crowd looking for her, she wouldn’t be hard to spot I thought to myself and just kept pushing through the crowd. Half way down the platform, there she was, standing looking at her feet and no longer crying. She saw me coming, smiled only the way she does when I surprise her and she asked me what I was doing. I didn’t say a word, I just grabbed her and I didn’t let go. The train came and she let go of me and got on. She didn’t invite me on and I didn’t step on.

The last time I talked to her before she got married, she asked me why I never chased her to where to she had moved to. I asked her why I wasn’t invited.

Imagine everything inside you was powered by a single battery, for all your remaining forever.

Imagine knowing a fact like batteries don’t last forever.

Tonight and for the next 24 hours, I imagine a battery that will last just that long, forever.

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The Night Of June 23, 2010

for MSG on the birthday of SAK

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This is Frank, on land that was once his. Not in the sense as from or of, but simply his.

It was here, on this dam of his design, that he told his wife and I stories neither of us had ever heard.

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Frank had a mission and on this mission I did go.

It would remain unfulfilled, but that wasn’t really our true goal.

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When I left this land, I was given a letter and instructed not to open until I arrived in Carthage.

That is exactly when and what I did.

Thank you.

Cookeville, TN

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I had driven 809 miles in 14 straight hours. The last time I had been in a hotel, I hadn’t been alone, tonight, I had me all to myself. It was an awfully quiet night.

I went to the lobby for my free breakfast, Cheerios®, milk and water. I sat at the table next to the older couple and pretended I already knew them and hoped to listen to their conservation. Turns out they were quietly eating, there was nothing to hear. The older gentleman saw me looking and nodded. I nodded in return and we both went back to our breakfast.

I ate one bowl after another at my table alone. I checked my email – nothing, I looked for voice messages – nothing and then I checked my email again – still nothing. I finished eating and walked to the counter and return my key.

As I walked towards the door the counter agent told me, “The Lord blesses you.”

I turned to her and said, “Thank you.”

When I got out the door I thought to myself over and over as I walked away,

“I really hope that He does.”

If one tells stories too often, they become like fiction. – CB

My name is Jonathan and I want to be remembered forever.

I only recently learned this.

I was 15, I was to have surgery. I was on the gurney, being wheeled down the hall. Light by light went by on the ceiling, just like they do on TV. There were giant candy canes lining the hallway too. I couldn’t see anyones faces and no one was talking to me. I got wheeled into the operating room and asked to shift onto the table. I lied down, stared at the operating lights and wondered what the pain would feel like.

A nurse stood over me and put a mask on me, but it was not like her mask. She had a mask, a head cap and was covered in that blue green that only operating rooms have. I stared at her eyes as she said things to me, I don’t really remember hearing what she said, only that her voice was nice and there was a kindness behind it.

I looked up at her, I told her, “Your eyes are beautiful.” Then I blinked mine and saw there was now a cast on my leg and I was in a room all alone, the surgery was over.

Then 21 years went by.

It was my almost last night living in New York City.

I wanted love, I didn’t want to leave and I didn’t want to be forgotten or let go.

I asked an old love to see me and to my surprise, she did. She invited me to a party that just before I went in, I almost didn’t, for almost an hour. I stood outside, I looked at myself and I looked at the trees.

The party was behind the Guggenheim, I stared at it too.

I didn’t want to be here but I didn’t want to leave. The old love was not to be new again, but allowed me to see that I had been more to her then I ever knew. She kissed me, she dared me, she bet me, she insulted me and then she told me to go forth and she did all this without fully letting me go, or so it felt.

I found myself on a private roof in Manhattan overlooking the skylight of the Guggenheim. I didn’t know what it was then, but would later learn that a collective of animals was shining it’s noise all over the inside. I pretended those green blue lights shining from below were just for me. These lights were my gift on this night.

I turned around and saw a woman in a chair I did not know. I didn’t know her name yet, but I wanted to. She had on a hat that matched her skin, a dark coat and all around us there was a light, soft, white snow in the air.

She started the conversation. She asked me about my cameras. She told me she was a nurse. I told her my story of surgery so long ago and what I had told that other nurse about her eyes just before I had passed out.

She looked at me and said,
“My God, if you had said that to me in a moment like that, I would remember you forever.”

I asked her to stand up. I asked her to take a sip from her glass. I asked her to allow me to photograph her and to all this she did agree. In the soft snow, in the lights of collected animals behind us bouncing upwards from that spiral, I made a few photographs of her just as I had requested.

She asked why I wanted this. I told her that her hat reminded me of a scrub cover, that her coat would fade to the black behind her and that the glass would block her face from the eyes down, just like an operating room mask would.

I told her,
“Now I’ll remember you forever.”

I didn’t tell her that I thought her eyes were beautiful too, well, until just now.

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It was my almost last night in New York City. A night like this can only happen here and this night was only beginning. I have met an oddly high number of nurses this spring. This nurse, peeking at me over her glass, she is the only one that has made me feel better when I otherwise had not been well.

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I miss that City of New York.

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Fifteen Sundays Ago

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Fifteen Saturdays Ago

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I Like To Eat Too Much Sugar

3:49 PM | 5:09 PM | One Man Walking Alone, One Animal Who Watched Me Lifelessly Through Glass

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Today, at 4:19 PM, I completed a perfect measurable act, 25/25 on skeet field #4.

I did this alone, shooting solo, on a timed delay.

When I did this, there was no one there, there were no witnesses.

[4:19] Surat An-Nisā’ (The Women) – سورة النساء

Sahih International
O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.

4:19
touch these numbers and turn up your speakers, all the way


Today was 6/19.
I made a photograph at 3:49 PM that I found important.
I completed a perfect measurable act for only the second time in my life at 4:19 PM.
I made a photograph at 5:09 PM that I found important.
I only realized this just now, at 8:19 PM.

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Two Men Standing Alone With Their Hands Touching Their Faces | 25 Seconds Apart

June 16, 2010

i like to tell stories | #8 | 20 pages

download pdf
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1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

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I Believe Everything I See

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This One Day And That One Day I Heard And Saw, Too Much | June, 2010

I was once at a party for billionaires, yes, billionaires. I was near the dessert tables stealing cookies as I wasn’t sure if hired help, or a photographer, could partake. A man approached me and said, “Take it. Take everything you can in life until someone tells you to stop.” I laughed at his comment as it struck me as humorous in the moment and coming from him in this place, he was one of the guests of honor. Later, it made me a little sad, I just couldn’t relate to the idea of taking anything away from another. I always preferred to be given, even if it was only a cookie, (or five cookies). I saw him a little later too, he seemed less joyful. It was an awkward moment, (bathroom), he said to me again as we washed our hands quietly side by side, “If you cannot figure out who the joke is in the room, it is you.”

This didn’t strike me as humorous at all either. Other than of course, we shared this moment in a bathroom in an airplane hanger in which the party was being held. Tonight as I remember this story, I picture the man in his office and the way I see it in my mind, it is full of those inspirational posters with row boats at sunset and kittens in trees. I cannot relate to this either, even if there is truth in him, his billions and those posters.

There Is No Other Place No Where In Particular I Would Rather Ever Be Again On This Earth

All Photographs May 31, 2010 | Near Bellville, Texas

A year ago this day, this moment I share this story, (8:04 AM EST, June 17, 2009/2010), I felt an earthquake. It was centered in Texas but only I felt it right there in #1RN in New York City.

I had been up all night making things. I was about to go to bed when it hit. I had never felt anything like it and by the nature of this particular phenomenon, I won’t ever feel it again just the same. It was the moment of a lifetime and I knew it, the very second it hit, I knew my life would never be the same. I didn’t realize I was the only survivor or participant.

Now, today, 365 days later I am in Texas and that epicenter is in New York City.

Now, today, if I allow myself, I can feel all of it, still, tremble after tremble.

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This is the land of my blood, this is how Texas loves me.


There is a part of Texas I love like no other, even if I cannot find it or even if it cannot find me.

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(thank you)

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Sometimes It Seems It Is Like It Was All Only For You To See Anyway

“The minds of you and I, and if no one else, we are enough.”

I Looked Up, I looked Down | June 13, 2010 | Only Minutes Ago

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I parked far away from all the others, there was nothing around when I went in. When I came out just minutes later, this knight of the sky was no longer in it. It was now 3 feet from my car. So I looked up, I looked down. I could see no reasons. So I looked West for anything that may still be in that sky and hoped there would be no more Target® this night.

I

II

III

IV

V

VI

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Six Circles, Waiting For Sixth See, Before Five

Almost All | May 29, 2010

I could not be still. I could not do nothing. I could not make nothing. I needed to remember this wait. I needed to remember this anticipation. I needed to remember this disappointment. I needed to remember this unknown.

I needed to remember what I see is only that, only what I see.

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See or a not see, I want these sees uncountable, on this my one hand in which I hold and make things.

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I Wanted To Lick That Line

One Man On The Phone Where Two Roads Cross Nearby Not So Long Ago

Who Do You Hear When You Listen For A Who
Words & Images | May 26, 2010 | Consult Your Doctor

I Know Who I Hear And I Showed You How I Do Just For Only You
Then You Took My Listen And You Gave It To Your Other
You Showed All You Do This Just For Me To See

Words & Images | May 25, 2010

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I stood in one place, I shut my eyes, I made three clicks.

There is no place like home, there is no place like home, there is no place like home.

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Someone I never met that was far away once called me from a special place, well, before really, I tracked the drive, I tracked the progress, this was a joy of maps. Upon arrival, I was still watching. I described what I could see around them from the satellite, I described what I could see around them from the view of the street I could see on the screen in front of me. I sent a photograph of that screen to them. It was all confirmed, it was all beautiful and I was told this was an oddly romantic thing to have done while it was happening. I agreed, wholeheartedly.

A photograph from this someone from this place was later delivered to me on the same screen in front of me.

I found this romantic, wholeheartedly.

Sometimes maps lie.

Sometimes they are perfectly accurate.

Sometimes they purposely make you look the wrong way.

He surrounded his life with an impregnable wall of integrity and truth which was invulnerable against the poisonous darts of culmy and slander.

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J.F. Roberts Obituary | Died in San Antonio, TX | September 22, 1923

Father Of Mine Five Fathers Ago

June 2, 2010

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The sky was screaming but it made less noise then you did making none sleeping so close. I can remember wishing I was deaf, thinking I was deaf, I wanted you awake. An hour passed, a year passed. I took my shirt off and ran out into the invisible rain that felt like little rocks pelting my bare skin. I wanted to be beaten by something larger then myself and beaten how I could not predict the moment of pain. I wanted to make this body mind match. They don’t. This act didn’t help. I saw the sky change its colors and I felt a farewell. I only thought I had to leave when I should only learn to sleep.

I Miss That Rain. I Miss That Noise. I Need Love I Don’t Ask For.

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This is the land of my blood, this is how Texas loves me.

June 3, 2010
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What Cannot Be Imitated Perfect Must Die – (RAZ) | This Trigger I Do Not Want To Pull – (JNS)

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Four (8) Of Me With Typicality From A Place In Which Two Roads Cross

13 Fractions Of A Second To Say Goodbye Forever

I just gave away all my film. Film I had saved for years and only all for you my love. I gave away all but one of these love rolls. A short roll of that cheap cheap Gold. I put it in you, caressed you, touched you, worked you. Moment by moment and for joy till my completion.

All at once without thought and in reverse in mere minutes. You wound that Gold all the way out inside you and then you wound it back in as I walked from the inside out. You gave me  just 13 with indifferent affection and I took each and every one with all of mine.

Only all for you my love, I thank you, forever.

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Saturday, June 5, 2010

May 30, 2010

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I sent a note out into the world and this note was shortly there after answered. I returned this answer and thus started an eight hour conversation in which I never heard a word. This silent conversation was interrupted by a task that was not mine but one in which I was able to invite myself along on to witness.

We met at a McDonald’s parking lot, 4:56am. I was accepted into the purple chariot and into the night we raced towards the heart of this city. A train sung us its song and blocked our passage, a new route was found and our wait started. The man boy then arrived all broken, his parts, his mind, visibly troubled and cracked. We walked to the jail house steps, stopped and I stepped back and took my seat.

I watched the bracelet of non-love get clamped down as her arms of ink did their pretty magic.

McDonald’s, 5:54am, I give her a kiss on the cheek in thanks and enter my own black chariot again.

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This is the land of my blood, this is how Texas loves me.

Maps Spelled Backwards | Two Images Received | One Voice Note Received

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I was going to an event in a city in which I did not know anyone. I sought company, of any kind, by placing a request out there for those seeking company in return to find. The event has come and gone, I did not acquire company, of any kind. I did however end up the recipient of many random and unwanted text messages due to the flawed confirmation system of the place I used to post. This request of mine then never even actually got posted.

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“<FW>FW:FW:FWD:

Bring ur ass outside.

she’s lookin 4 u. And she is mad

*DOING ME! WTF*

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Daddy Wrote:

‘To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.’

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This is the land of my blood, this is how Texas loves me.

From The Internet (Roundaboutly) | 13 Of 36 Blind Self Portraits | 1 Stack

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thank you

May 25, 2010 | It Was A Tuesday

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Yes, I was green with why one would assume.

The color itself has been ruined by those three trite,
cliched words of false description ingrained in our culture.

These words have made me hate a color that I love.

The branding of this word, this color,
has also made me hate the planet on which I live.

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Leave my colors alone.

Fekkai | PROTEIN Rx | May 27, 2010

Renews Strength, Elasticity and Shine – Message Into Wet Hair. Lather & Rinse

CAUTION – AVOID CONTACT WITH THE EYES

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This day 42 years ago, my father and my mother married each other after four years of dating. They are still together. Also this day, this actual today, a man and a woman I photographed once married each other too. They did this about the same time today I made all these photographs.

16 fl oz forgotten Fekkai | 4.5 fl oz purchased Red Paint | AM Radio 1100
1 gal purchased & almost frozen ICE cold water (source – Leoffler Spring, Jasper, TX)


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I Tested And Failed Myself

May 27, 2010 & June 1, 2010