i like to tell stories

There’s a giant red brick wall out there in the air and I have lost track of how many times I have banged my head against it now. Hit the blue send button, hit the blue send button, hit the blue send button and repeat. To this wall I fear I am anonymous, I am one in the horde, I am not a unique snowflake, I am a kiss blown in the middle of the tornado slamming up into this wall’s business.

I started to try and count them all – each bang of my head, then decided that this time, with these, I don’t want to know, I don’t want to care and I don’t want to share them all, so understand, this is not all, this is not even close.

I am currently in my third year on my annual vision quest of fall… my rightly, stately trial, my call to arms in the great state of Texas. I am there now, locked in a battle against myself yet measurable by others from across this nation and further. It has been my goal these trials, these years, to return with trophy, with prize, with pride and not who I was 4 short days of trials later.

My first return to Texas was full of preparations of great magnitude and hope. I failed.

My second return to Texas was full of preparations of great mildness and brief moments of astonishing excellence in my actions. My goal was reached.

This is my third return to Texas on this vision quest, it was full of absolutely no preparations over the last 6 months or goals of achievement and was scrambled to out of just sheer will of attendance and the alluring mystique of Texas itself.