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November 4th, 2010

471 Days, The Only Screaming I Love

The Only Screaming I Love | Please Press Play

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On July 9, 2009 – I was surprised by the planes screaming by in the sky. Very specific planes. I stood in the doorway of a hotel balcony and watched as I heard her laugh in the shower lost in our conversation as those specific planes screamed back and forth. We had just met.

On October 20, 2010 & October 22, 2010 – I was surprised by the screams of she and I back and forth as those same very specific planes screamed by in the sky. I had not seen these very specific planes since that day 471 days ago and from this time forward, everything is too late to correct. No screaming of any of ours or in the sky can change anything. It was too late. Of all days, of all happenstance of places, how could this be?

A man approached me. He was larger than I am in every way and the uniform had a presence to it that was beside that of the man actually wearing it. I had made one promise to someone to not do one thing here, on this side of that fence. Do not make things here. All I could think of as I handed the uniform what I had just made was, how could I?

When I looked up in the sky and saw what I did, I had just pressed that button. It was the only thing that felt right today on a day where what I wanted and what felt right for me, was of no matter, in the biggest way there ever could be. How do I explain that to this uniform? A part of me will now be forever on the wrong side of this fence.

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