Two Blue Pages
Two Letters I Did Receive, One Followed By Another, Years & Years Apart, Years Ago
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I had no business at this wedding, I had invited myself. I didn’t know anyone very well, but the darkroom was down and I was lonely. I caught the garter, I wanted to keep it. I hadn’t known the tradition in that moment. I knelt down and handed my Leica® to the groom. I was nervous, she was pretty and had nice legs. Only looking at the photograph now do I see how far I could have gone up her leg. I would have liked to. Like I said, I thought she was pretty and had nice legs. I imagine it would have felt nice too. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a little blond girl looking at me strangely and at this same moment, I looked into the woman’s eyes I was knelt before, she was just looking back at me, softly smiling. It is the only garter I have ever caught or put on a woman.
The little blond girl was her daughter, or was, as I understood it. This is why I stopped just above her knee.
– – –
triumph of the swan
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– – –
what have i promised
and not carried through?
what have you offered
that i have refused?
your words:
shadows on my soul.
your words:
devour my heart.
your words:
confuse my mind.
what have i done?
what have i done?
you say you could
never be
just my friend;
what does… friend… mean to you?
you say you
can’t say
love… to me;
what do… i… mean to you?
oh, lover, what can… i… give
to you?
here, friend, take all my love
for you.
you hurt me, too much… friend;
a cruel word and… i… am
bleeding… friend…
please, stop.
– – –
Two Blue Pages, One Right & One Left