i like to tell stories

so i finally made a book of the BTK story. i have to say, it really goes next level when you touch it and go through it page by page versus click by click. it reminds me of how much i miss any printed photograph really.

it was mostly ready to print, so it only took 3-4 hours to print them all out and put together this one copy, i didn’t try to figure the price in paper/ink, i don’t want to know.

see BTK online HERE.

MORE

packing up finally, more cleaning, from far too long of just stacking them in the corner.

when i was a freshman in photo college, freshman weren’t allowed to check into the studios or check out medium format cameras. so the very first day of official classes my sophomore year, i did both. having spent the summer thinking of different ways to light someone and since i didn’t know anyone all that into letting me practice light on them all day, i shot myself. broncolor and an RZ for the first time. it was a fun day.

granted there isn’t much that can be done with lighting thats all that ‘new’ to an extent, and i by no means am saying i did either of these before or better then anyone, but i recently saw this exact set up (above) on the cover of a big entertainment magazine with a celebrity and it made me laugh, remembering this picture i made of myself the last time i let my hair actually grow.

so unless you’re one of the rare photographers that just somehow manages to overwhelm the lighting style done before you so many times, everyone calls it ________ lighting, just keep doing what you want, only tweak it or overwhelm the world with it so they think its yours. see what i mean, i did this years ago and actually very differently then ________, it’s not even so very different then above, before ________ had overwhelmed the style so much, you cannot think of anything but the lighting and who did it before you and better, after they learned it from someone else then tweaked it. so until i find something i like or grow the ability to overwhelm the world with it, i’ll keep playing.

cleaning the journal table made me actually get to the journal under it all or on top of it all, depending on the day. after seeing another journal of mine recently that i had given away, it seems the journal is on the brain quite often lately. part of me misses making them, actually making something with my hands that i can touch. while the other part of me finds i cannot escape how distant everything in them feels, the content itself and the aesthetic. they are mine, and i remember every nook and cranny detail of making the pages and all the pictures, but when i hold it or look at them, it’s like it isn’t mine just the same.

i stopped dating pages this time and skipped around from page to page, unlike the others where i did a spread at a time till it was done and moved on. so at least 3 of these following spreads aren’t even done. i stopped it on 1/23/05, i’ll save that 8 of 8 spread till 1/23/08. i didn’t stop on that date consciously for any reason, even though the date is a significant one, it’s just how it happened.

i haven’t touched my journal table since january of 2005. then it became a place for photo related or love related or loved thing/object/trash placement for almost the past 3 years, as small as this place is, it went untouched.

then, the other day, i just had to put it all away. bought fancy boxes, scooped it all in, then set boxes on table, so it’s a start, or at least a small dent.

coney island + long island, i wish i had photographed you more.

2 pictures, 2 days, 7 hours, 39 minutes, 18 seconds apart, no relation.

i shot a warehouse of jackson family belongings awhile back for people magazine. the pictures have been buried as a lawyer got me scared to publish them till the items sold again or MJ went to jail. after not being able to license them to a place willing or able to publish them, i decided i’d slowly leak them here….

(the lawyer advised the watermark, really. silly, but a true story, these are the only pictures you’ll see me watermark here, partly cause i am scared of what the lawyer will call/say to/about me if he knows i didn’t, partly because it’s so funny. if you don’t believe what the [very good] lawyer says about photographers, call one and describe your business practices, see what they call you).

helen rose hutchison – 1 day shy of 11 weeks.

one baby = four cameras, more to come, someday… pictures that is, more babies isn’t up to me.

take a peek and a listen

noella and carl and mindy. mother and father and sister of my friend KREG.

kreg – 11/4/05, his wife kate – 1/14/06.

With Out You

the next to last time i ever saw you.

i found this polaroid this week cleaning my journal table.

the polaroid is a picture of peter ment. peter died in the summer of 2004. he was a friend of friends and he helped me on a few shoots. i didn’t know him that well, but i always enjoyed his company, he reminded me that it should all be fun when i got stressed out on some silly shoot by simply laughing at me, in a good way, at least i thought so. i wish i could remember what this shot is from, but at the moment as i write this, i cannot remember. i can remember almost every frame i ever took of anything, how i lit it, where it was, who it was, but this one is escaping me. there’s a chance i set it up and never shot it, i do this often. either way, i am glad i found this one polaroid.

the polaroid is the modern day equivalent to the deguerrotype. this object is a picture, a one of a kind, a tangible, touchable one of a kind that was once in the same room, place and moment at the same time as the photographer, and more importantly, the subject. present in its physicality at the time of its creation by its very nature.

i remember sitting right here at my computer when my friend sitting on my couch got a phone call, i knew after hearing just a bit of the conversation, it was bad news, but not what it was or who it was about till he was off the phone. it all felt so unreal and took a long time to sink in.

i went to his eulogy. it was given by stéphane sednaoui who knew peter pretty well, it was beautiful.

my last tournament of the year. i only went as i needed to shoot 150 more targets to get my 3000 competition target year goal, well, i thought i did. it turns out i added all wrong, so i ended up shooting 3150, oh well.

i got up early saturday so i could sleep some the night before sunday’s comp. no luck, i was up all night. get the car at 630am and hit the road. i got to M&M, shot the warm up and hit the course. it was the usual hard, challenging and skill testing targets M&M throws, it’s unlike any other place. i shot the course out of order, going to where the lines to shoot are the shortest. it was cold and not too crowded, only the big names and usual crowd were there, it was odd, it felt like a family of shooters i had gotten to almost know simply from seeing all year all over the country. the north east guys from nationals and all the PA, NY, NJ crews. i dropped a target at station after station, i couldn’t get one run perfect, even the non easy but ‘easy’ stations. then i ran a 5 of 6 at a few hard stations, stations i watched master class guys shoot and drop a couple. watching those targets scared me a little, i had no idea how to hit them, but i stepped in and called pull and pulled the trigger. at one, i could barely see the midi (smaller then normal) off in the distance doing odd things, but after pulling the trigger and waiting, the fucking thing broke. i tried not think and repeat. 5 of 6 station after station. nice. that one midi, it broke with a delay, meaning i shot, there was time, then i saw it break, WOW. at another station i watched person after person fall apart and never find this one target, even one or two of the masters i admire, again in line in front me struggled, yet i somehow got a 5 of 6. i caught up to a guy i speak with who always is winning master trophies, he asked what i did at the one and his jaw dropped when i said 5 of 6, NICE. in the end, i only ran 3 stations with no miss, 6 of 6 twice and an 8 of 8. final score = 80/100. i nailed my goal. not on purpose, i wanted an 80-85 and never count as i go, but damn i’ll take it. i made mistakes, but there was no disaster station or meltdowns and only one target i never broke out of 32 different presentations. at M&M, i’ll say that with a little pride, but still got lots of work to do.

main event – 2nd place of 9, lost by one target, got 2nd over 3rd by one target, one crystal trophy and $54, no punches.

FITASC
fitasc is shot on 2 different courses or parcour of 25 shots each for a total of 50 shots, those 25 shots on each parcour are the same targets, just shot from 3 different places or pegs and the gun must be low or not ready on your shoulder till the target is in the air, then the shooter may move and attempt to break the target. i started on parcour two, i found it hard even though the targets appeared easy. i only got a 17, i would later learn a few guys ran the parcour with a perfect 25, damn. then i shot parcour one, the tragets looked harder and were faster and further and one a small midi way way way out there on a weird flight, shit. in the end i rocked it, sort of, a 21 of 25. WOW, its like it wasn’t me shooting, the high of the day was 23, i was only 2 off the best score of this course, that’s saying something. so i had a combined of 38 of 50.

first place of 3, one large glass trophy. dunno about $, but no punches. dammit. i finished the year 2 punches shy of B class after starting in E.

there were only 3 in my class, but my score would of had me 2nd in B, 3rd in A and middle of the pack in master.

i waited around to get my trophy, CHECK THE VIDEO. fitasc was still shooting, so i had to wait and see how i did, i fell asleep under the animal heads on the wall, i have no idea how long i was asleep, prolly only minutes but it felt like it could of been hours, but i had been up over 30 hours by now. i awoke to a shootoff announcement, watched the sick shooting for tie breaks, grabbed my huge ass fitasc trophy and hit the road….

it was a good day.

i won two trophies for shooting clay frisbees with a shotgun, i’ll never underestimate the wonderful silliness of this joy. i now have 5, 4 of which are from M&M. yeah, you’re jealous….

Daniel C. Chung, CFA
Chief Executive Officer, Chief Investment Officer, Portfolio Manager
Daniel C. Chung is Chief Executive Officer and Chief Investment Officer of Fred Alger Management and The Spectra Funds. He has over 13 years of experience and has been with Alger since 1994. Dan was named Chief Investment Officer in September 2001, President in 2003, and CEO in 2006. He is Portfolio Manager of the Alger MidCap Growth, Alger Health Sciences, Alger LargeCap Growth, and Alger Small and MidCap Growth portfolios. Dan attended Stanford University and earned his J.D. from Harvard Law School in 1987. After completing law school, he served a one-year term as Judicial Clerk for the Hon. Justice Anthony M. Kennedy, United States Supreme Court. He joined Simpson Thacher and Bartlett in New York City in 1989 and earned an L.L.M. from New York University. Dan is a CFA charterholder.

that’s from fred alger’s site. all i can add is that he is an avid collector of photography and was a nice guy to shoot, well, that and the strobes hurt his eyes.

doug, tennessee + doug, texas.

i keep finding photographs of my brother looking up at the trees, i was unaware i was doing this till i found this one of him in tennessee. it was actually taken a couple years prior to the texas one i posted awhile back, but it got lost in the edits. i am sure there are others, i just haven’t randomly come across them yet.

i only found the TN one looking back in negs over 10 years old.

yeah, that fred thompson. i took these in 1996 (i think). it’s a really long story about what the event was and i cannot even really give a clear explanation, other then that my father was involved quite a bit in the politics around chattanooga for a bit and my mother helped do the production of the conference itself.

that’s fred thompson shaking my mother’s hand with congressman zach womp on the left looking on, yeah, you read that right, that’s his real name, he also lived across the street from my parents at the time.

that’s my father getting his grip and grin with the then senator.

i lived in san francisco at the time and my parents flew me in to be the ‘photographer.’ needless to say i don’t think they were all that thrilled with my approach and style of image, but i still think THE SUMMIT is one of the more interesting things i have ever made.

GO SAUNDERSJONATHAN.COM HERE

then HISTORY > THE SUMMIT

there he is again during the conference, it was like fish in a barrel, everywhere i looked there was somehting to make a picture of. yes, that’s the shadow of my head and hand on the camera, good thing i shave my head.

i also kept trying to get a photograph of Mrs. Zach Womp (the congressman’s wife from across the street). everytime she saw me, she would literally hide behind someone or walk away. she did this somewhat playfully as she hated having her picture taken, yet was after all married to a congressman and i was the weird kid from across the street.

at one point, she grabbed the camera and asked why no one was taking my picture, didn’t i know how annoying it was? so i handed her the mamiya 7 and made one of the suits next to her hold the flash, battery and cables and smiled, behold my greatness:

that’s me, about 22 years old. such a mess. i didn’t have a button down or tie, i had to get them in tn when i got there. i also had no proper undershirt, so feel those t-shirt sleeves peeking out the rolled up button down sleeves. the best part, is that it was a printed t-shirt, the design showed through the back, i wish i remembered what it was. i ended up shooting with 2 mamiya 7’s as the one i rented from SF was a lemon, the flash wouldn’t fire from the hot shoe or PC sync, i got to chattanooga and had to drive to atlanta and rent a second body. so i shot the whole 2 days with one lens and two bodies, always having one ready to go with fresh 220. i was only there maybe 72 hours, yet i have an entire 2 inch binder bursting with film from the trip, mostly the conference, the rest, the usual.

most of it looked thru or printed, but everytime i go through that binder, i find more and more fabulousness.

pennsylvania = true love.

by chance, i ended up at LVSC on the absolute last day i could of my membership. nice. it was the first time i shot clays not in a tournament in months, it was fun, i still didn’t shoot very well, seems i really have forgotten everything. i am 100 competition targets short of my goal for the year, that’s only one tournament, i cannot decide if i should go or not to the last one of the year at M&M next sunday….

a more terrifying experience, each and everytime, for the actual experience, the people and the service.

stole/received/got these from nate of me at LVSC, so weird to see myself shooting and not have it be from my own pictures, gotta love seeing the shot spray the water after breaking a target.

even got one from dad of me at nationals during the 5 stand meltdown, also, it seems the results i posted weren’t official. i ended up lower in most, but higher in one:

31 of 183 in the MAIN
80 of 119 in the 5 STAND
27 of 63 in the FITASC

and

11 of 166 in the KRIEGHOFF KUP, damn, awards went out to 10th, 1 fucking target short of $, trophy and punches to move up in class. maybe the weird squad kept my mind off my shooting, or maybe they cost me that one target, no way to ever know.

DAMN.

and in a contest i forgot about (that awarded nothing to my class):

9 of 50.

the Browning ALL AROUND, meaning all 4 events combined. damn, so i did get top 10 in one event at nationals, go figure… the ‘awards’ at the bottom are hat pins, everyone got one just for participating. the nationals pin has the number of years you have competed in the nationals.

texas.

3 pictures in one hour. i went to a concert tonight, i never do this, i can count on one hand how many i have been to, even after tonight. a last minute invite and no real reason to say no. i was early, walk around, stop, play with phone, look up, see tree, take picture of tree. get there, go in, get handed a beer, i never drink, well, i almost never, still never been drunk. beer in a cup at a concert, i didn’t want to hold it, so i shot glassed it, set plastic cup on bar. watch first 2 songs, go to bathroom, see door and orange wall, take picture of orange wall and door. i had never met the girl before, she’s a friend of a friend, so i see if i can make her smile and make small talk over band, she showed me her belt buckle, i laughed, watched band play a song, then reached over, lifted her shirt, snapped the buckle. she didn’t flinch, neither did the door or the wall or the tree, it was a nice night.

i never understand or get or even have the faintest idea what the pictures i make mean to those around me, i am always so far off the map. i know what they mean to me, so i assume they actually mean the same thing to those i give them to or made them of.

not true.

i met her online almost two years ago, now we’ve been apart awhile and we both seem to be lost and lonely again looking for new love in the same old place. i made the mistake of looking at her profile and found pictures of her i made and celebrated, used for her to meet someone that is not me.

ouch.

she hated having her picture taken, to the point it would make her cry if i even pointed my camera at her, so i felt lucky to have this one, it was the only picture of her she ever let me put up on my wall. now she put it up on the internets wall for everyone to see how i saw her because she no longer wanted me looking at her.

ouch.

i spent a ton of money getting a different picture printed and framed to give her once. it was the most special thing i knew how to make or do for her at the time. i left it in her apartment to surprise her. i never heard a word about it again other then she had never seen a picture framed that way before and she didn’t know when the picture was from (a project about her i had even put online). i am not sure where she put it, i don’t think it ever got fully unwrapped and is sitting in the back of a closet somewhere with the other storage with her air conditioner. later, when i got mad and hurt as we parted, i asked for it back. i had never really done anything like that before that i can remember, but for some reason, other then just being mad and bitter, i wanted it back. i usually give things away for how it makes me feel and forget i ever did it at all, never caring to a certain extent what the recipient actually did or thought of it, but to see this one gift, for her, being about what it was about, get pretty much no reaction of any kind at all, from her in that moment i gave it or when i asked for it back, was just too much this time, i’d rather burn it then have it unloved or unnoticed in her closet for the next guy to find or for her to stumble across and throw away someday when she moves. i am not so happy with myself for asking for it back, it’s all the things you’d imagine it is, x2, but it made sense at the time.

ouch.

i lived in san antonio, tx for three years growing up, 7,8,9 grade. during the years i lived there, every time a plane or jet went over, i had to run to the windows and look and see what it was, within the first month i lived there i could identify them all on site and before i left texas, i had books and manuals sent to me by the manufacturers. i had written them all letters requesting any non-classified information i could get my hands on, almost all of them sent me 3 ring binders of information.

at nationals, there was a C-5 almost always around somewhere up there. even when i couldn’t hear it, i’d think i hadn’t seen one in awhile, so i would look, sure enough, here one would come, making shadows on clouds, disappearing in them and around them or simply sitting there against that blue sky, daring you to understand how something so fucking big can actually get off the ground.

at walmart, there just past the registers was a bulletin board of pictures of some lost locals for people to bring in and post…

it didn’t appear to be sponsored by walmart. just something on a wall somewhere in our everyday that reminded me how to so many, it is the most personal thing they have ever felt, so much so they had to bring in a photograph and staple to the wall at the fucking walmart.

it was beautiful.

register + practice. shot the practice course, the hard practice course, 2.5 times. you rock these clays, you will do well.

so i tried to rock them and otherwise soak in the complex, this place is one insane mecca of shotgun love. this event is the largest sporting clay event in the world.

671 acres.
6 sporting clay courses, 8 FITASC parcours, 8 competition 5 stands, 4 practice 5 stands, 45 skeet fields and 47 trap fields.

target count for the day = 250 practice, 250 total.

give a listen to some SIGHTS AND SOUNDS of nationals.

dammit, not a complete meltdown, but close, a 47 of 75. the red course wasn’t as hard or at least didn’t feel as hard. i missed so many i shouldn’t have. i just couldn’t run a station of get in my groove. a 3 of 8 and a 3 of 6 at 3 stations killed all hopes, then my confidence was gone, i knew i had blown it and couldn’t recover or stop thinking. i was surrounded by good shooters in front and back of me. i needed another day of high 50’s to place. it never happen, the course went by fast, before i knew it, only a station or two left, then i finished with a 4 of 6 on my last station of the entire weekend, at least i hit the last 2 targets, a true pair off yet another scissor lift. dammit.

target count = 75 MAIN = 1210 total.

me & my main event squad.
it’s over.

earlier, when i walked up to my starting stand on red today, the last day, i saw 3 PA guys there who i hadn’t really seen all weekend. i panicked and thought i had made a mistake on my schedule. it was 3 guys i see at every single shoot i ever go to here in the northeast. they knew me from seeing me around, but we never actually met, even though i just shot behind one of them all day in NJ only 7 days before. well it turns out they had been sitting in WHATABURGER at around 2pm, when one turned to the other, ‘when do we shoot, 3 or 330?’ so the another one looks at their schedule, turns out they were to shoot at 1pm, they missed the start of their last day of the tourny. they then drove 100mph to the complex, got put on the squad behind me, their only penalty being MORON #1, MORON #2 and MORON #3 written on the top of their score cards…. it must help when the officials know you by name.

(from winning so much)

KIM SPOHN one of the ‘MORONS’ had a 72 of 75 on the red course.
R WAYNE DAVIS one of the ‘MORONS’ had a 97 of 100 in the 28 gauge.
STEPHEN EDMONDSON one of the ‘MORONS’ had a 98 of 100 in the 28 gauge.

if shooting like that is a being a moron, where do i sign up?

2007 National Sporting Clay Championships
National Shooting Complex, San Antonio, Texas
October 30 – November 4
Jonathan Saunders #914 – NSCA #554885

all results are for C class out of approximately 150 competitors:

MAIN – 202/300 – 23rd place

FITASC – 68/100 – 28th place

Krieghoff Kup – 74/100 – 12th place

5 Stand A-E – 65/100 – 73rd place

i wanted top 10 in the MAIN, this was the ultimate goal of the entire trip, it paid/punched/trophied out to 15th. i missed top 15 by only 5 targets and top 10 by 9 targets after 300 targets attempted.

the K-Kup paid/punched/trophied out to 10th, i missed this by one target and missed winning by 9 after 100 targets attempted.

FITASC and 5 Stand had no expectations, however my meltdown on friday is obvious in full force in the 5 stand, i should have had at least a score of 80, putting me in the top 10, not 73rd.

i shot 1210 12gauge shells, 600 in practice, 600 at registered targets, breaking 409.

no trophy, no punch, no money.

7 shotguns on one maybe $150 gun rack = $100,000+

4 krieghoffs, 1 kemen, 1 berretta auto (plus paint job, ha), 1 browning.

if you are an albino yankee looking white boy in south texas, shooting the same direction all morning in the 90 degree november sun, wear sunscreen, everywhere.

if you’re a 16 year old girl and from alaska, put a black skull and crossbones with bling eyeballs in your pink ear plug and out shoot everyone. (there were 2 girls from alaska kicking some ass, seems you can now even get scholarships to college for sporting clays, AWESOME. altho, it may as well be football or basketball, the kids down there can hold their own with the best if not out right beat everyone).

orange course, 57 of 75. i dropped about 5 targets from being an ass, the rest were just hard or at the limits (or beyond) my ability. got a great squad, 2 guys from southern cali and one from utah, all master class, all seemingly fun loving yet serious, perfect….

as of 8:44PM TX time, i am in 9th place, C class of approx 150 C class shooters, but it’s only day one of 4.

the top score for master on the orange, 74 of 75. i wish i had the words for how sick this is.

target count = 75 registered + 25 practice = 100 = 350 total.

wow, i had the worst squad ever, i don’t even care if they read this, infact, i almost hope they do, i paid too much to do this with this kind of absolute ludicrously.

i am about to be mean, i almost hate myself for it, maybe i am just venting, fuck it, even though i am sure they meant well, here it is, as fact as i experienced it:

i was put on a squad of four. one dad, two sons, me. ok, cool, they all had on matching shirts and vests from a club i had heard of, so just before we started, my hopes were high. then we started, we started on station 6, a following pair of high rising trap shots, a tough pair, but they didn’t do well, i did fair to poor. yikes. they had a golf cart for 2, but the three of them always squeezed in station to station, but this wasn’t enough, the father, a spitting image of santa clause (only picture st nick homeless, dirty and sloppy around the edges) carried around a stool to sit on at each station, damn. i was walking but had to wait for them at each station, even when i was first, they took their sweet time to stroll up, often even holding up the squad behind us, each time i figured they catch on, they did not. older son walked around talking like a robot, i thought it was a joke at first, it wasn’t, it seems thats just how he talks. younger son forgot his gun from station to station twice, yes, of course, the long transfer too. at one station, there was free ice cream handout, when the trio saw this, they left the station we were about to start to go get it and eat it, rather then eating it after, when no one would of had to wait on them, they ate, and made us all wait. boy one shot, boy two shot, i waited off to the side, trying to not let their oddness/rudeness effect me, father was shooting. earlier he had cut his arm somehow and was bleeding, not a small cut mind you, but at least 3 puncture wounds that were dripping blood, every so often he licked his fingers and rubbed the wounds. then he ate ice cream, all the while covered in sweat dripping through and around his neck, face and beard. why does this matter you wonder? well, i shot after him, so i walked over to the stand and gun rack to pick up my gun, it wasn’t there. i knew i hadn’t left it at the last stands rack. so it took me a second to realize what had happen. this santa motherfucker was using my gun, sweating on it, getting old ice cream on it, not to mention the cuts and general man dirt he was rubbing on it simply using it. it’s one thing to maybe grab the wrong gun off a rack, but load it, mount, shoot 6 shots and not notice? YOU DUMB ASSHOLE, get your blood/ice cream/man goo off my gun…… i smiled it off and shot my station, i got a 6 of 6.

then the worst came out in me, but it was long overdue. i stepped into a stand and the two jackass sons were behind me, too close, talking loud, making loud noises, throwing rocks at each other (near the gun rack, i had already moved mine to avoid it being hit by a rock and so santa wouldn’t touch it again) they were also slapping each other and on the verge of a fight…. i turned around and said excuse me, then again, excuse me, finally, EXCUSE ME, then they noticed, ‘can you two stop, your fucking around is really distracting.’ the trapper smiled and nodded at me in agreement, the jackasses shut it long enough for me to shoot. i shot and went to the next station.

the father came up to me and actually thanked me for shutting them up. he said it happens all the time and he was expecting someone to turn around and pop them some day……

what the fuck.

hard to know if they actually cost me targets, but fuck, was my first K cup and no fun was had, it was stressful, mostly because of the asshole squad, but the targets seemed to really test me too. i even hit 4 of the 8 at station 5, two midi, off a scissor lift at 30-40 yards+, damn.

worst squad EVER.

74/100.

as of 8:56PM TX time, i am 3rd place C class, half the C class has yet to shoot, this will have to stand for 72 hours, sigh.

target count = 100 registered + 75 practice = 175 = 525 total.

was stoked for today. got there early, 75 practice birds on the long shots and fast crossers, they are in full effect all over, i got on them and got confident, and stopped practicing, the plan was 150, so when i realized i was on… done. got to my main station early, thanks to a random golf cart ride from a blonde lady shooter (nice). a few minutes before the start, the rest of my squad rolled up, we swapped man stories and shooting stories and got started. station 3 again, a left to right rabbit and a tricky slow crosser, also left to right. i rocked it, my first run station in the main in two days, finally.

the next station i dropped 3 of 8, then i proceeded to drop at least 3-4 per station. not a good day, in fact it was a disaster. many targets were just further/angled in a way i don’t know how to shoot. many i do, but my confidence was gone, i felt i did things correctly, yet, no broken targets.

fuck.

42 of 75. there goes the main event.

as of 10:36PM TX time, i am in 40th place, C class of approx 150 C class shooters, it’s day two of 4, i dropped 33 places today.

target count = 75 registered + 75 practice = 150 = 675 total.

added the 5-stand after my first day of comp, thought i was having fun. nope…. tried to snap out of my funk, yet it never happen, it was laughable. at one point, even with my parents watching, i missed the easiest pair ever that i hit all the time and even had the urge to throw the gun on the concrete and never shoot again, ever. i honestly didn’t even care, give the gun to closest person, never shoot again, it would be fine with me at this point.

it was one of the ‘easiest’ 5 stands i have prolly ever shot, yet, i still screwed the pooch and missed practically everything, really.

65 of 100. if i had been ‘awake’, a 77-83 would of been more inline with my usual ability, i am a fucking ass. i did everything i could, stop caring, care more, have fun, get aggressive, nothing, and i mean nothing worked. targets only 10 yards away and right in front me, moving slow, may as well been 100 yards away. total fucking nightmare.

as of 10:43 PM TX time today, 46th place, not all C class have shot this event yet.

i think it’s safe to say at this point, i may never compete again. too bad i have two days left i already paid for, i am debating if i should even bother.

i wanted to shoot 3000 targets in competition this year, i think i maybe 100-200 short, i could do that in one weekend somewhere near home, but fuck that goal too, i haven’t accomplished any of my goals in this since april, this is sign….

target count = 100 registered + 50 practice = 150 = 825 total.

friday night at the stadium skeet field there was a shoot out of the top 14 guys in the world. it was too amazing to see for the shooting and the weirdness of the event itself, not only were the targets literally the hardest that could be thought of, true pairs, 40-50 yards out, doing crazy things, but in the middle of the hard ass targets, they set off bottle rockets, blew air horns, let balloons go and put pumpkins along the rabbit path, hit a pumpkin, pay $20 to charity as a penalty, it was ridiculous….

waiting to watch this, the announcer came on, there was to be a shoot out in each class for free cases of ammo in varying amounts. 6 people from each class to shoot it out. sitting there listening to the other class names being read, i somehow knew it was coming, but tried to block it out, as cool as it would be to be in a shoot out (i never have), i dreaded hearing my name, then it came, C class – jonathan saunders – seeming random (really, how?) out of the 150 or so in my class, my name got called, i got up from the bleachers and ran to the car, got my gear, got the shoot out field. there were maybe 100-200 peeps standing around to watch, 6 people, head to head, 10 targets, 5 pairs, everyone shoots the same, any ties, it keeps going. shit. why today, of all days? will fennell (big time pro shooter) handed me free sponsor shells to shoot, here we go, a left to right crosser and a trap riser, FUCK, why a trap, i missed like 50 of these all day long today, FUCK.

guy one went, 8 of 10, guy two, 9 of 10, guy three, 10 of 10, lady four, 7 of 10, me, 6 of 10, i dunno what the last guy got, i knew i lost 3rd place, the last spot that mattered and was packing to leave the area in front of all 400-600 eyeballs.

dammit. to top it off, will fennel called me ‘big guy’ as i left – he meant well of course, but i hate being called big guy, specially at this event, i am tiny at this event compared to most.

so i went back to watch the top dudes in the world duke it out among the fireworks/pumpkins/balloons, they make this look so fucking easy, it isn’t, it’s FUCKING hard, just like everything else.

i think at this point, i have a better chance of the cover of vogue, the NYT mag and VF, all the same month (right, hold your breath) then i do at getting any of the goals i set for the week accomplished.

when i drove away from the complex tonight, tears literally left my eyes. i am 34 and crying because i cannot hit a clay frisbee with a shotgun. yikes.

target count = 10 shoot off targets = 835 total.

watch Anthony Matarese JR ! PULL ! shoot

50 of the first 100 targets in FITASC today, 33 of 50 broken. i entered this for the experience, no goals, just do my best. after yesterday, i just wanted to enjoy shooting again, it almost happen. FITASC is all about rules, gun mount, motions, target order, shooting from a hola-hoop like circle versus a shooting stand, etc. the referee in the beginning was a woman, this only matters as i find it funny that she chose to use pink chalk to mark my vest and others with the gun mount mark, drawing pink lines on tough guys with guns all day…. awesome.

there was a guy there on my squad from tennessee, bobby. playing with a duck call he made and dressed in head to toe brown and camo. the accent, the character, everything brought me back to when i lived in TN instantly, he was funny, smart and could shoot really well. the best thing about bobby, bobby brooks that is, is that you could tell he was having the time of his life and bursting with joy to be shooting. awesome.

target count = 75 practice + 50 FITASC = 125 = 960 total.

sorta back on track, still made too many dumb mistakes, but a 56 of the 75 on yellow course today i can almost live with, anything after yesterday like this is winning the lottery. what sucks is i watched station 9 being shot by the guys ahead of me, even a couple of the big names, a fun looking rabbit target rolling along the ground at like 40 yards and screaming fast on report after a left to right curving away target. it looked fun. i saw many guys drop targets, it didn’t look that rough and i was excited to shoot it. so what happens, i drop 5 of 8 there, so so so frustrating…. argh.

one day left, i crawled back up to 21st place after yesterdays meltdown, still kinda fucked, i need top 15 for a punch, $ or most importantly, a trophy at nationals.

target count = 75 main event = 1035 total.

had more fun at FITASC today, still didn’t do it well, but i did get a 20 of 25 on parcour 3, which had the harder/more fun targets, so that’s something. 35 of 50 targets broken today. i was the runt of my squad though, that never feels good, the rest of the 6 of us were A class or B class, it shows. it always impresses me how accurate people’s classes seem to be with their ability.

target count = 25 practice + 75 FITASC = 100 = 1135 total.

i ended up eating lunch with bobby brooks, the TN guy from yesterday. we were talking and i had already told him i was a photographer from NYC. i don’t think he remembered my name, so he just kept calling me ‘city.’ he started off our conversation today with, ‘you know city, i know a bunch of you city photographers.’ i smiled, ‘o yeah bobby?’

‘i was in vogue even,’ says bobby. i stopped eating and listened. turns out bobby either owns or runs or is somehow involved with the 800 acres of hunting/ranch land owned or used or run by faith hill and tim mcgraw. bobby said he’s in the background holding the horses rains that faith is sitting on in vogue and is even in/around in others or at least involved in the production…. i asked if the crews that visit were nice to work with or a hassle, he said it’s funny to watch them get all excited about shooting a gun or getting to ride a four wheeler, to which i laughed and explained how i want out of the city just so i can do those two things, he offered me a job, i dunno if he was joking or not… the world is small.

sidney, savannah, tammi, tiffani, charles, rhett, jonathan.

it’s funny, well maybe not funny, but sad isn’t the best word either, even though it comes to mind, but whenever i am in a hotel room alone, and that lonely comes, i always think of a woman from my past or maybe even present that in some way made me feel not so lonely anymore, if only for a moment once in time, if they were only a friend, acquaintance, if i had a relationship with them or not, doesn’t really matter, i suppose this is normal, or at least normal in my life.

or maybe it’s just this one random girl i barely know and hampton inns, i dunno.

last time, i actually left the room and made her these, this time, i just went to sleep:

LAST TIME

5:20:22 PM

5:14:10 PM

been a unique 5 days, i usually go months without a visitor here at #1RN, this week, i got to shoot 6 visitors, other friends were in town, but life got in the way of them stopping by for a portrait….

so come over, i’ll take yours too.

parking lot, nj.

(M&M – sporting clays)

M&M Sporting Clays, Pennsville, NJ

any time you pull into a tournament before dawn, and start to worry there won’t be enough light for your start time, is a good day, although it turned out my first shoot was shot looking directly into the sun. note to self, NEVER shoot an 8am start, if they can’t change your start time, don’t shoot the event. take the time to wake up. i tried to do this by getting up at 5. there was no warm up open this early, my first target of the day was in competition.

shot my first FITASC event. i got my ass kicked even though all the targets seemed hitable, i was really put to the test, and i failed, the first parcour looked directly into the sun. it made it difficult, but i honestly cannot say it cost me targets, i shot a 16 of 25. the second parcour was through the woods overlooking a small pond, the targets were really hard, at least for me, i shot an 11 of 25. 27 of 50, ouch. FITASC may not be for me.

main event. had my usual rough start, i never seem to get on my shit till half way through a tournament day. maybe i need to shoot 100 targets before the comp starts, not sure how to fix this. i dropped so many targets at stations i should be running. one station i thought i was hitting them when i wasn’t and i had no idea how to correct, i also lost the targets in the trees a little, but i think it was more due to my eyes themselves, i shoot right handed, yet am left eye dominant, so i am one of those ridiculous looking people with tape on their shooting glasses trying to correct, so i often lose targets going left to right pretty easily. especially if they are going really fast, low and through back lit trees. on the other hand, anthony matarese jr had set some pretty technical, intimidating looking stations that i shockingly found a joy to shoot. i stepped into the box, viewed them, got nervous, called pull, focused and found more then i expected, even running a station that scared me the most. damn, can that boy throw targets that only appear easy, lull you to sleep, then laugh at you when you miss.

i shot a 72 of 100. not really any better then the same event the year before, even though i shoot in a class one step higher now. i was almost too embarrassed to hand in my score card (yet again). then i looked at the scoreboard, all the scores were surprisingly low, not only in my class, but all the classes. the scoreboard showed me in 2nd place overall for the main event and 3rd place for FITASC with over half the shooters done. wow. so i stood around for almost 2.5h waiting to see the scores come in, posting after posting, it held, 2nd place main, 3rd FITASC, that would mean $ won and more importantly, trophies, two trophies actually, awesome. (my main motivation is winning trophies, silly, yet true). then, just minutes before i had to leave to get the rental car back in time, the last posts went up, FUCK. 4th place main, 4th place FITASC, no $, no trophy for either event, i knew i should of gone home right away, i hadn’t shot deservingly and let the low scores of others give me false hope, but c’mon, 4th, just one place out of the $ and trophies in both events, FUCK. this is a big kick in the balls not only for being the ugly girl at the dance, but because i shot the exact same score as those one place higher then me, we had tied, so it went to the tie break stations, they just shot the targets better at one stand, but we still had the same score, FUCK. (turns out however, because we had tying scores and because of the number of C class shooters, i still got 3rd place punches, so 2 punches, that makes 3 punches in C class, i now have 3 of the 6 to needed for B class, nice).

time to drive home and try not to cry, i go to nationals in 3 days, an entirely new opportunity to embarrass myself, or of course, win a trophy.

2006 Delaware River Classic Story

Jonathan Saunders:

On behalf of the Aperture Prize Committee, I would like to thank you for taking the time to submit your work for review and consideration as a prize recipient. Aperture received over 800 entries for consideration, and they exhibited an impressive level of quality and diversity. I regret to inform you, however, that it was not selected as one of the portfolios to be featured on the website. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to view your work and also for subscribing to Aperture magazine. Best of luck with all your future endeavors, artistic or otherwise.

Sincerely,
The Aperture Prize Review Committee

none of the people i admire or otherwise deem important to the history of photography acheived what they have through ‘contests’ or ‘hotshots’ or ‘picks’ or ‘top (insert number)+(insert title).’

true story.

from what i can gather, they had the right introduction at the right time by the right person to the right place or person, all done privately through social/professional channels of one kind or another.

also, a true story.

that didn’t stop me from entering this one, two entries this round, one last time, same result.

as i am always perplexed on the who? why? really? of the winners of such things, i figured i had no right to question or bitch unless i had actually submitted, so at least there’s that, of all the poeple i know in photography, no one else seems to try at such things, silly editorial contests sure, but for work that actually bites their brains a little deeper, no one enters or tries, but they all bitch.

to try and fail may give one the right to bitch in my brain, but it doesn’t make it hurt less. as it will when i see who does ‘win’ – that’s a always a fountain of who why really.

11:51:35 PM + 11:57:56 PM

11:46:03 PM

blind date, first date.

1:27:38 AM

1:31:02 AM + 1:33:41 AM + 1:33:47 AM + 1:33:58 AM

the client wanted the pair i was to shoot shot with a wall of televisions of ‘financial jibberish’. the office was under construction, there were no televisions in the building and their offices were literally ripped apart, and not in an interesting way that would work for the client. the subjects suggested outside, the client was worried it would look like an office park, (it was), and it was pouring rain. the client also wanted the pair to appear in mid conversation versus an engaging portrait, the subjects were not thrilled on this concept, but i have to say they were super nice, the contacts were very helpful, it was a great day in a way, the only problem was me making my client stoked, which of course is the only thing that mattered. by chance, we got permission to shoot in the lobby, i made an image i am actually really proud of and actually like a great deal, it’s not what the client wanted or needed, but i can only hope it works out.

i have shot over 450 portraits, i would say at least 75% of which are or were in an ‘office’ environment of one type or another, mostly likely a beige one.

1:48:26 PM

1:49:35 PM

1:49:23 PM + 1:47:31 PM

1:52:35 PM

1:51:22 PM

vespa accident.

1:55:35 PM

1:55:42 PM

2:00:21 PM

results from sunday finally posted, 1st of 3 in C class, $60, i have now won $752, i rule.

WATCH

wake up at 530am, on the road by 6, music loud, head west.

pennsylvania = true love.

my 24th club, 21st i have a snap of myself at.

the club was great. longest course i have been too, weaved up and down and all around, must have been like a 2-3 mile trec from start to finish through some of the most beautiful PA i have ever seen, thankfully, the cart seemed to be complimentary. i got there early and it was a relaxed start. there were 6 of us on the squad, mike i already knew, owner of rock mtn, a club i love and where i shoot like 5 times a year, ricky FUNG-A-FAT, yes, that’s his real name, he often kicks everyones ass in master class and john citarella AA class, both PA regulars i knew by their names being at the tops of scores, but had never met. then me and two other guys. it was a good squad. mike and john tied with an 87, ricky had a 90 or 91, can’t find scores posted yet.

we finished the course and realized there had only been 98 targets, not the 100 required. turns out one stand was mislabeled, so we got it all worked out, but had to go all the way back to station 8 and shoot one pair, it of course turned out station 8 was the farthest away, so another 20 min ride out through the woods. station was a fun true pair.

i shot a 79, still way off what i wanted and should of had for the course, but back on track with my skills. i had a long run of 30 targets at one point, 30 targets from station to station without a miss. i either ran a station or dropped half of it. there was even a station i ran that made no sense, i could barely see the traget in the trees, but after each bang of the gun, trapper said ‘dead pair’ so i tried to trust what i couldn’t see and repeat. but then i had 3 stations along the way that were a melt down, 2 out of 8, 2 of 6 and another 2 of 6, that’s 14 lost targets in 3 stations. there was a station or two where i had a hard time even finding the target, one in fact where i never saw it all or even pulled the trigger. orange targets in the most colorful foliage fast and crossing, joy. so now not only am i going deaf, i am going blind.

Bill C

Alexandra M

Shirin S

Elizabeth Y

i have photographed 44 people now. see them all:
WITH OUT YOU

i wanted to ask tillmans if i could take his snap, but i couldn’t find the courage.

my corner.

my corner.

long ago, before trips, when i had no camera, i would walk outside my door and make pictures with whatever camera i rented or otherwise got my hands on. warming up, getting ready, excitement to travel, i don’t know what it was, but i just realized it’s a ritual i sometimes never consciously still do.

that is not my tape. it is however my text, no attempt to read it was made.

that is natalya lulova (Natasha/Natalia/Natalya depending on source), she or her family, claim she can read text while blindfolded.

if she could prove it, she gets 1 million dollars. i photographed her the day of her attempt.

she was not successful.

shot for TIME magazine, the james randi educational foundation has the million up for grabs.

“The James Randi Educational Foundation is a not-for-profit organization founded in 1996. Its aim is to promote critical thinking by reaching out to the public and media with reliable information about paranormal and supernatural ideas so widespread in our society today.”

such a weird day, but amazing thing to witness, all rolled into one. it was in an awful, run down, old office building in lower manhattan, lawyers all over, we had to scrap together this shot and i was perched up on the ‘conference’ room table. another situation where there was nothing to go off of, make mountains out of pebbles again…. we weren’t allowed to shoot the actual attempt, but watching through a crack in the door, i fell for it, i was impressed, it was surreal. later, during a break, i grabbed that shot of randi, who in about 5 minutes of conversation, demistified the entire experience, in a good way, damn.

i started the drive to PA after already being up 12h. i left at 630am and got home at 5pm. 294.8 miles. i feel alseep while driving home, seems this is the one time i can fall to sleep well, nothing puts me to sleep like driving. it was just before the GW bridge, i knew i should pull off, but there wasn’t a safe place that was easy, so i tried to push it the 10 miles home. so fucking scary, it’s a miracle i didn’t hurt anyone. it was prolly only a second, but that’s all it takes.

i got home and puttered around for a bit, then finally got into bed at about 630pm, it’d been well over 24h since i was last in bed.

now it’s 4am monday, and i am up again, but i don’t remember the last time i was actually awake.

(also, for the record, why the hell is the parking lot full at 830am at a walmart in east stroudsburg, pa on a sunday?)

i have now shot at 22 clubs, and taken the same picture of myself at 20 of them. one of these two shots will be the one for:

FACTORYVILLE, PA (Factoryville Sportsman’s Club)

it was a beautiful day, a beautiful pennsylvania day. overcast with patches of blue sky, 50 degrees, a light rain every so often, and it was in the pocono mountains, so every turn had rolling hills and trees everywhere…
PA = true love.

when i own land in PA, it will look like this.

wow, have you ever seen so many 0 on a scorecard? (each one is a missed target). damn, i just don’t get better. 68 of 100 for 9th place out of ten in C class. i just couldn’t find so many targets, and they weren’t that hard, well, i mean, they were, or i would of hit them, but i am a good 20 targets off pace for my class and myself. it’s obviously me. everything felt right too, that’s what’s so frustrating. nevermind all this $ spent i may as well just set on fire. now, my goals today were experience and to get warmed up for nationals, but damn, i should see the writing on the wall for me and competing already, i just want to do so well, but forget my scores reaching a plateau, they yo yo so far up and down it’s truely baffling. i shot the 5 stand event, got a 39 of 50, 1st place C class out of 3 shooters. i was 10 targets ahead of the next shooter. i am ridiculous.

i’d call myself a horse’s ass, but since the clubhouse had mounted a deer’s ass above the toilet in the bathroom, i think the term for me today is definitely, DEER ASS.

couldn’t sleep, nothing new. i was falling asleep at the computer and my head was killng me, it’s what i imagine being drunk feels like. i climbed up into bed. i lied there about 30 minutes, thought i heard something, then was wide awake. i went for a walk, it was 5:12am. the battery died on my camera, so i went home, it was 5:46am. 99 pictures, 34 minutes.

it seems every few months i buy a new a point and shoot, only to return it within the week. i just cannot find one that’s worthwhile, i have spent over a $1000 on one, ordered from japan directly only to ebay it and even bought them down the street at B&H, all to only return them within days.

either way, what i want just doesn’t seem to exist, however the street outside my door is getting the shit photographed out of it.

my mother, before 2005.

my brother, before 2005.

if i know you, and you are involved in photography in any way whatsoever or otherwise have a website of anykind for anything at all….

i better fucking be on it…..

see, KREG HOLT knows what’s what.

(i am not talking a link, as cool and truly awesome as that is, i want my mug, my whatever, made into something by you)

BIKE SNOB says of my ride:

“Oh, yeah. That baby appears on Craigslist every year about this time. It’s the blooming flower that lets me know it’s cyclocross time. It looks like a fractal.”

I did not know what a fractal was.

1 random dude and 2 of my hired help.

i love the people i know, always up to or making something beautiful…..

WATCH

congrad’s joe, congrad’s………..

NATIONALS – sporting clays – starts in texas, 300 targets in 4 days, a special 100 target cup prior to that, so at least 400 tournament level targets. i will be there, so its time to start putting in the practice. this is a larger, more respected and more important event then the worlds was in the spring, this will be sick. if i get the cash, may try FITASC too. making it 500 targets in 5 days, all at the national level. no other competition awards as deep or means as much as placing at NATIONALS.

midhudson clays, new platz, ny. 250 shells of practice, and my first attempt at FITASC, i got a 15 of 25, those targets are fucking hard. not to mention the new rules to follow.

i won’t bother to explain it all. but damn, rules rules rules and far far far targets.

it’s always good when you stay overnight somewhere, certainly for two weeks or more, to leave a surprise behind… the dumber, the better.

just when i think i have seen it all, something happens that literally just makes me laugh, not always a good comfortable laugh, but a laugh nonetheless.

i did a job in january through a designer for a magazine that to remain anonymous is basically about karma. ok fine, the shoot was of an art therapy teacher, it went well, i got a gushing email from the subject on how fun it was to have me and my assistant shoot her, how beautiful she thought she looked in the magazine when it hit the stands, she even sent me a gift. it was a great shoot and experience.

then a few months went by and i never got paid. then a few more months went by and i got a letter explaining that i may never be paid. not just my fee mind you, everything, the assistants fee, gear, car rental, everything.

i try to not play games anymore, for too long i treated this like something fun to do vs being an actual business. so i got a lawyer on them, we took it as far as we could without actually serving papers. the amounts involved just weren’t enough for the lawyer and honestly, publishers know that me spending over 5 figures in fees to get a couple thousand, if that usually, just wont happen and a straight copyright violation while worth over 6 figures, happens rarely, and costs more then you can imagine.

i just had never been this blatently not payed and told i would not be paid, this one was a kick in the teeth that truly stung, certainly since its a magazine about karma, how could they not pay?

well, as of today it’s been over 9 months, and today, a few minutes ago in fact, i received a box with cookies, tea, brownies, a pine cone, a handwritten note from what appears to be a new publisher and a check.

nice. it would seem someone at this magazine about karma, wants to keep it on the up and up, and for this, after all this, i am actually kinda greatful, of course, minus the lawyers fee grateful, but greatful.

my job is weird.

my brother and sidney, texas.

maybe i just don’t realize this. that could maybe explain cold sending. i still do it, often, as my first job was a cold drop, never one since in 10 years, but still, giving up seems just as pointless, so out the door they go.

i use to think if your pics were interesting enough, the work would come, but the past year has really finally made me realize, short of being a complete moron with a camera (sometimes even then, the photogs that rely on assistants to understand their own light still makes me laugh, no, not even annie L level, but one pack/one light level), who you know is everything, nothing else really matters, or my pictures must really suck, i just don’t realize this. this is the only rational excuse for all the random drops i do meaning so little.

i just got my book back after over a month at a magazine. i called this magazine for 2 months before sending it over. i couldn’t get in to meet anyone, almost never do. i made sure it was a good week to drop it off, that everyone i wanted to see it was there that week, that it wasn’t a closing week, even got a day to drop it. after sending it, i never got the pe on the phone again, well, i did once, two weeks later, it still hadn’t been seen, ok, no problem, let me know when to pick it up. over the next 3 weeks, i called once a week to see if it had been looked at, not one call was ever answered or returned. i called randomly to try and catch the pe, no luck. ok, so i let it sit there another week, figuring at the very least, maybe it would eventually get seen or i’d just get a call to come get it as its in the way and they need room to stack the other 20 they must get everyday. that didn’t work either, so i just sent a messenger, i just got it back. i understand the world is too busy to not hire your buddy or that cute photog you met at a party, or chris or dan, but then why tell me to send it, what’s it take to look at book anyway, 30 seconds, too busy for 30 seconds? i could of let the book sit somewhere else for more then a month for them to maybe look at….

i like everyone else can tell if it’s been opened or not, this place usually leaves a note, so i was excited to have another form reject to add to the pile, yet nothing this time. the books had been rotated, so someone along the line must have at least opened it. but not one card of mine was taken, the 2 books were still in the same order, so it was opened, but prolly not looked through.

it did however have a unique smell inside the case. outside the case i understand, BO from the messenger maybe, whatever, i even got a delivery once that reeked of weed so bad, i almost got stoned from signing for it. but to smell inside my case, i’ll never figure that one out….

next.

(some of the notes below were actually great to receive, some sucked to receive, but made me smile, these are older ones as the newer ones are awaiting other things….)

one i never finished setting up, the other never got used because the subject quit his job i was photographing him for the day after i shot him.

i shot a little project in LA recently, it’s one of the few times i made images with a real goal or thought in mind before making anything later out of it all.

i am not sure it worked, as my thoughts swirling around it all are shifting, either way, it will be something for someone someday.

my fear of flying is still growing stronger.

a friend emailed me these today. i don’t know if its really worth me paying $2500 on top of what i pay a month already for this view, but either way, its a nice view.

today, 9/26/07 is the 2nd anniversary of the very first time i ever shot clays.

yes, this is an absurd thing to realize, but nonetheless entertaining, to at least me. so….

almost everytime i go shoot somewhere, i take a clay home. then i started writing where it was from on it. then my score. then how many clays i shot or shells i shot. then, if in competition, my score, my placing, my $ won and how many punches i got. (punches are points earned to move up from one class to another).

i have 95 clays on my shelf. i have a jar of maybe 4-8 i had in the very beginning, that i knocked over, so the chips are in the jar. so maybe 99-103 days of shooting, although a couple could be from different places the same day, so safe bet, 95 days of shooting, not counting the 2-3 times i forgot to get a clay at all.

10,472 clays since i started writing the amount of shells or clays i shoot. probably 14,000 or so total is a safe reserved guess of all time.

3,750 of these targets were in competition. 1700 in 2006. 2050 so far in 2007.

in 2006, i went from beginner, D class, to E class, an official demotion by NSCA.

in 2007, i went from E class to C class in 2 months.
12 punches total, including one punch already of the 6 needed for B class.

i have 3 trophies, 1 first place, and 2 for 3rd place.

i have won $692.00

i have shot at 21 clubs and taken my picture at 19 in:

new york, new jersey, pennsylvania, delaware, maryland, texas, florida and california.

got to shoot in the LA area finally, two places, Moore N Moore Clays and Triple B Clays Shotgun Park, you should go to both, and they are both just miles from central LA, nice.

watch here : jonathan mark and dan, LA GUNS

went to LA for a long weekend and basically just looked around and saw old friends. i would be hard pressed to find a single moment that wasn’t perfect, even the random spot i found to sleep in my car for a bit was beautiful. the ups and downs of the trip itself all synced out. the desire to return to nyc was nonexistent, yet i still did.

i mailed my friend mark a check just after he and his wife moved to LA for some $ i owed him. i use to try and always mail a picture with everything i did, even email, now this of course never holds up, but i wish it did, this may make me try harder again, as i remember putting the check in an envelope and forgetting a picture, so i tore it open, shot a polaroid of myself, and put the yet to be processed polaroid in the new envelope and mailing it, then forgot the whole thing.

i later heard it was the first thing on their wall in LA, well, i am proud to report it’s still there and i finally got to see how my polaorid turned out, 2 years later.

3 of the 4 photographers i know in the above photo read too many photo blogs, one i dont think reads any.

the past few months, i have read too many, between RSS and OCD, i no longer think it’s an interesting exercise or learning experience, i honestly cannot say too much positive thought or action has come out of it all (reading others, not making my own, i still see benefit somehwere within the process). constantly reading others seems to feed the bad side of photographer bragging, bitching, who is doing what obsessing and general one-upmanship. not that any of this means anything, as my fascination with it all seems endless.

in reading all the usual suspect blogs, seeing how it seems it all really revolves around two or three main blogs anyway, random stuff really gets stuck in my head. in seeing this over the last few months, when i started again in june, i made a conscious effort to try to not bitch or brag, just state the facts about photography jobs and photographers with facts as i experience them or with praise or not at all. i generally feel i do well, mostly….

except HERE broening/saunders with comments, the best comparing us to Urkell and Skreetch

and

except HERE seige/jimmyrainbow

it seems lost in the bubble of my dark little cave, the boredom and jealousy gets the best of me and i unleash blah blah on those undeserving, more successful and silly enough to encourage comments.

going to at least try and stick to simple stories and pictures here however still (starting again now), as there are plenty of other places to read photog on photog revolving door conversations…. not that i wont still be reading those of course…

in an effort to attract new clients and move forward, been reaching out to reps and pe’s again in anyway i can get attention (again or still, depending on the month as this obviously should never stop). this is of course a daunting and seemingly frivolous effort, but nonetheless needed and desired and kinda oddly joyful while quite painful. this has led to an interesting 24h in that it has been made painfully obvoius from different sources informing me that dan winters and chris buck are the only two photographers worthy of work. now i respect and admire both of these guys obviously, as yes, they are quite amazing.

still, in the past 24h, 2 different sources unknow to each other referenced me to dan as example and 2 different sources did the same with chris, go to any lecture or event or siminar or ask for feedback, these are the yards sticks of photography, nothing else will do, to anyone in a position of power over photographers put on the spot to to offer up their thoughts on what they want in a photographer, it is chris and dan, deservedly so but really, just those 2….. ?

wow, this is such a news flash, thank you person in position of power over photographers.

so with the hundreds of magazines, hundreds of ad jobs, hundreds of design jobs, at the end of the day, if dan or chris are busy, maybe you’ll get call, i may not after this post, but maybe you will….. now i am spoiled in that my first job ever wasn’t through a rep or because i knew someone, all the rest have been, but not my first and not one since. this is our business, sure, you must work a camera decent enough and not be completely incompetent, but the key is know someone or have a rep that knows someone, this is a golden ticket to new work and cleints…. or be fortunate enough to be dan or chris.

(altho i do know a photographer or two that seem to get a check in the mail each time they fart, or so it seems, they are under the radar, but their bank accounts aren’t, they just have that nack for falling ass backwards into random cash for what they already did, maybe your lucky to be like this as the amounts are astonishing and often make me laugh out loud when i hear the stories, ideally i want to be the combo, dan or chris talent AND the ability to fart cash).

example one

example 2, now i honestly appreciate the response i got from this person below, i would agree with parts of this and this came from a person with a level of experience that i respect as i was after all asking this rep of stature to give me some thoughts on my work, they were kind enough to do so:

“No problem, Jonathan.

The critique I have about your work is that there is nothing overall that differentiates it from the hundreds of other editorial portrait shooters out there.

One of my favorite portraitists is Dan Winters, who you may be aware of. His work not only has a strong signature look to it, but he consistently captures the essence of his subjects in a conceptual way through what he does with props, environmental elements and poses that is fresh, smart and unexpected.

We already have a number of good solutions for clients looking for portraits, so it would be tough to add you anyway. We also concentrate on advertising clients, so the strong editorial leaning of your work makes it less applicable in that arena.

I hope that this helps.”

my only immediate unspoken thought on this really when i first read it, “odd, this person doesn’t represent dan winters. why not an example of one of yours and why you represent them?”

spent a few hours friday and monday dealing with nyc permit office and then the park service to get permission to shoot in madison square park today. needless to say, it didnt really work out, one office said its up to the other and that other never responded and has no official phone number i can find. i could of gone under the radar, but i usually get caught and it all became too much. so we shot in the office, i got an image i think the client will like (it isn’t either of these).

me & my parents.

i wish i made something everyday.

you know its going to be a big day when you start seeing gun carts behind trucks on the nj turnpike going 90 mph just past dawn on a saturday.

m & m, nj. zone 2 championship preliminary event & 20g competition.

i shot a 77 for 6th of 24 in C class.

disaster, i never have it when it counts. i started off terribly. not just the course, but the whole day, which is a shame, i decided to do this last minute and was excited. the friday morning before the saturday event rolled around, i forced myself up early after only 3 hours of sleep so i could sleep friday night. it didn’t work. i never fell asleep. i would end up on course with only the 3 hours of sleep i got over 24h ago, 48 or so hours on 3h sleep does make for good competitions.

so i left as soon as hertz opened and hit the road. arrived, shot warm up clays, and hit the course. all the early stations were packed, i skipped ahead and shot poorly on some tough stations. then my gun misfired. then my gun misfired again a few targets later. then, my gun misfired yet again, any more would count as lost targets, i got so scared the gun wouldn’t fire, i didnt even think about the targets. then i just stopped. i knew the problem was big with the gun, but seeing how i couldn’t afford this comp in the first place, the idea of gun repair hurt my brain. i stopped shooting and went to the gunsmith on site, $110 later, i shot another 25 practice, then went back to the course. i picked it up, i was finally awake and ready, but by this point, had dropped so many targets, i was no longer in the running, fuck…..

i rocked the 20g, it was so fun, everything finally felt right and i dropped the cost and gun failures and honestly felt the best i had in a tounament in forever. i started off out of order again by chance. i ran the first 3 stations, i hit the first 25 targets without a miss, dropped one, then hit the next 10. i was trying to not think about my score or the next target, one at a time, but i fell apart, dropping a total 7 targets in my last two stations for a 42 of 50, 6th place of 12, fuck….

i slowly packed up and left even though the last thing i wanted to do was leave, i could of kept competing, but $ and common sense got me and i hit the turnpike. i got about 2 exits north and pulled over and fell asleep with the car running at some nasty rest stop, about 40 min later i woke up sweating. got out and fell asleep on top of a picnic table. an hour later, kids playing woke me up. i got back in the car, parked it in the shade of a tree and slept about an hour only to be awoken by my drool soaking through my shirt.

i drove home and was up about another 12h till sometime after dawn sunday.

i have never experienced a feeling quite like giving away something i made that is important to me. it’s arguably one of the best feelings i have ever felt. often making me feel that rush of blood leaving ones body or making me simply cry a little with joy. it makes me feel like myself, whatever that is.

too put all my best into something tangible, be it a photograph, a letter, a journal or even just a story. all those things i suffered through to make it, the looking, the searching, the moments, the joy, the pain, the expense, the whatever that is the residue of my experience in a complete state, here for me to give away as a simple honest expression of my love, hate or respect for that recipient.

i have made journals that took years and countless hours that i gave away and i have made simple little things that only took moments, the moment is the same for me….. here, this is for you.

i often send or leave them behind for the receiver. not so much for the surprise, it’s not their reaction that is even important to me and is not what i wanted. my reasons are more selfish. i gave this to you for me, for how it makes me feel to put my best down, give it to you and walk away.

that’s will, he helped me on a shoot today. it was a good day, i got to meet an editor i haven’t met before, even though i have shot for him some 7 years. i also got to meet 2 ladies i also shoot for there on staff in the photo dept as it was a shoot of a writer at the mag itself. wild company, if i ever work in an office everyday, this is maybe the first i have ever been to that seemed pleasant in a sea of brain dulling creativity killing environments that seem to dominate every place i have to go make suit pictures…

it was also odd today as when we rolled up and i was unloading gear, will leaned close and said, ‘jodie foster is standing right behind you.’ i turned and sure enough, there she was getting into a big ol black suv’s backseast. gosh, she’s purdy. i remember seeing her for the first time in candleshoe (1977) and thinking, gosh, she’s purdy. 30 years ain’t got nothing.

Hamburg, Germany, 26 March 2006. With only 8 of the 16 exits opened, the task for this evacuation certification was to get 853 passengers and 20 crew out of the plane within 90 seconds. This all happened in darkness, with only cabin emergency lights switched on. The footage is from night vision cameras. The crew and passengers did not know which exits would be blocked.

The regulations say that:

– 35% must be aged over 50,
– a minimum 40% must be female,
– 15% female and over 50.

Airbus A380. 873 people in 77 seconds.

i cannot stop thinking of you lately, the last time i heard from you was terrifying, it’s like i never knew you or you weren’t actually ever real, i cannot tell the difference anymore.

the room you grew up in, in indiana, a long time ago.

see – ATLANTIC CITY may 2005

if you read this much, you’ll know just what i suffer to do what i do, in living where i do.

more proof, took months to get LL to fix a small hole where mice came in. the guy showed and decided it best to replace the entire wall. turns out the hole i thought was small in fact had a larger hole behind it. turns out the larger hole wasn’t a hole at all, but a badly covered fireplace.

i had no idea there was a fireplace inches from my feet for the past 9.5 years.

watch APARTMENTHELL video

same wall.

9th ave – from days previous.

2006.

true love = pennsylvania.

watch us mock ourselves in a VIDEO that is too long, too small to see the targets and too large to download.

nate 66/100 (for like the 4th time) – jonathan 91/100 (2nd time)

the pr was crazy nice, i got into the building smoothly, i had time to set up, the subject was very nice, they gave us lunch, the client was happy, the client paid on time, my job has its good days. now, i just need to make what the CFO of CBS makes. that would be good too.

maybe i just need an acronym?

my dad is big on acronyms, in fact much of what he does involves some that are pretty out there (military related, the military is big on acronyms), he recently created this one for some of what he does:

SIDZ
Sustainable Industrial Development Zone

now why is this interesting? it’s his name, SID, so SIDZ as his idea and his project and his name…

acronyms.

interrogation room, wichita police department.

i got my first job ever from a blind drop off. if i hadn’t shot that job, i never would of gotten another. that was 11 years ago. i haven’t gotten a single shoot from a blind drop since, yet for some reason, i keep trying, i don’t know if this is good or bad anymore. the longer i have done this job, the less i understand about how it works.

i have been in the city too long. i miss cars, i miss the road. i spend days in my dark little windowless studio (hole), so to be in the car (hole with windows that moves around), going somewhere special or no where in particular becomes total banal joy.

ride along

i never understood how pictures of any level or kind could ever mean so little to people that they would leave them behind on some bar wall for some idiot to photograph. i appreciate them, but as much as part of me wants to not care, pin mine to the wall and leave, i just want the picure for myself, even if i just stick it in a box and never look at it again for years, i want it….. i wish they weren’t so important sometimes, quality of course, plays no part, but it’s MINE, i WANT it….

the best part of machines/pictures like these, other then random girls posing with you, is that if you find the right kind of machine, it brings back the ancient art of actual B+W chemicals, ahhhh, smell the fixer…

thanks to a friend, (oconnor rules), i got a chance to make a few big ass prints. i asked my brother what he wanted of all my pics, he wanted one of the shells…. not my first choice, but for him, sure….. 48×72, awesome. i got myself a carlin, wtc, bull rider and one from maryland. i only unrolled the “bad” copies that had a tear or crease, i was too scared to unroll the perfect copies, they are simply being stored till i have the $ and wall space to do them right…. i didn’t even have space to unroll them here, i had to go a friends studio….

and the other night.

cover of the post. for maybe the first time, Getty got my name on it, not just theirs. so absurd, it pretty much came down to me trying to leave Getty after 4 months and maybe 5 sales just to get my name on my own fucking picture.

random pair or just what was in front of me at the moment.

WITH OUT YOU

june 14, 2006

WITH OUT YOU

june 15, 2006

somewhere in ny in the rain.

see in sight and sound:

GO – HERE – VIDEO

go get lost in the woods and dream of homes you cannot afford, but don’t stay in a tent, find your own haven, ride in a canoe for hours, sunburn your feet, drive a rented prius, see if the dog can swim (or just sink), shoot your gun at little frisbees in the sky, drive a rhino in the rain, eat good food, look at all the motorcycles, revisit a place that once was hopeful and filled your head with dreams, but yet the place itself is just as sad as it was 14 years ago, ride an amusement, take some snaps. go home only because you have to.

i used to sit on carnival rides for hours, well, maybe not hours, but i used to ride the zipper and round up like 3-4 times in a row. now i get scared on the ferris wheel and sick on the scrambler….

in the fall of 1993, i got to go to the eddie adams workshop. i was only 20.

it was so amazing to be able to experience it all, just because someone somewhere thought the page of 20 slides i submitted were interesting. i remember thinking how cool it was that just 20 pictures i took got me to experience it all. if you don’t know what it is, go find out, or better yet, try to go…..

my team leader was bill frakes, sports illu photographer, my photo editor was tom kennedy, then director of photo at the geographic. a few times during the weekend, i got to talk one on one with the best in the business in the usual meetings and a few times outside of these…. i had never been so terrified and full of hope for my photography at the same time before or even since, i wish i could start it all over. i was humiliated beyond belief and full of pride, the 2 day picture struggle meant something, and to me, that’s all that mattered in the end, i was different then i was just 4 days earlier.

our assignment, the monticello raceway. we got dropped off for a few hours on two days to make some images and go back to all the lectures in between. somehow, i didn’t know it at the time, but we got judged on our images made those days, the award was an assignment for a major magazine. i was one of the last ones called, i won an assignment for a magazine that would later never assign it. now i ended up working for this magazine for a few years anyway many years later, after earning my way in the hard way.

now by chance, 14 years later, i was at the raceway again.

as usual, me being me, i put the select images from the workshop in a special place, now i cannot find that special place after an hour of looking, but here is a fast scan of an old cibachrome print, remember those? anyway, here’s one i made and one bill frakes shot of me that weekend…. i miss who i was so much.

going home is never as fun as leaving it.

bugs outside and in. outside at night was alive with noise. i found a tick in the bed, (prolly off the dog). just like my apt in nyc. altho here it makes sense and i shrugged it off, in nyc, it keeps me paranoid in the dark for hours.

i try, but i just cannot find a reason to feel good in harlem.

going to sullivan county again this weekend. shoot my gun (no comp this time, just joy), jump in a river and daydream of the barn i want to buy.

home depot parking lot – john & cindy’s living room.

i got mentioned in the results and articles on the tournaments at M&M this past spring for my 84/100 E Class win (still, WOW!) and my 138/200 D Class 3rd.

the cover of TIME and now this, good year so far…

the little p&s camera i had on sunday let me shoot burst modes, so somewhere on I-78 when i was having a personal mental moment, (or maybe it was that i just realized that we were still in nj) i made 43 images in 6 seconds. (the above image should be moving, give it a moment)

A course = 85/100 + B course = 93/100

fun with custard…. altho, i didn’t have any.

watch – 072907 – movie

i got to go to PA twice this weekend, each day was different while still being the same. shotgun, pictures, girls, friends, food, music and a little bit of beautiful everywhere i looked. i spent most of the hours in the car looking out the window, dreaming of this home or that, wondering what i would do out here and who’d i be.

i got a sunburn, so since i cannot have the truck, home, land or lifestyle, i’ll take the redneck happily like a badge of PA honor.

one bag, one case, much joy, keep it plain. altho i have to admit, to me, seeing someone carry these from a building to a trunk, trunk to building, or any other errand like activity with these two things….. could only = trouble. but then again, i am bias.

1 shotgun. paperwork. 20g/28g/410g chambermates. 3 pairs glasses. assorted earplugs. allen wrenches. gloves. vest. gun sleeve. 2 towels. 1 shirt. 1 sweatshirt. grease. bore snake. shell bag. shell pouch. 2 bottles sunscreen. 2 hats. bug spray. band aids. walkie talkies. gps. ipod. chargers. cables. 2 bandanas. gum. moist towlettes. 1 rag. sharpies. petzel emergency headlamp kit. 300 shells.

ROCK Mountain – Meshoppen, PA

C class
85/100 – 12g prelim 1st place
44/50 – 20g 1st place – (tie for first overall 20g)
40/50 – 28g 1st place
27/50 – 410g 1st place

(it should be noted, there was only one other C class shooter in prelim & 20g)
(it should be noted, i was the only C class shooter in 28g & 410g)

my dream of a rock mountain trophy has yet to be realized.

watch – 072807-ROCK – movie

i turned the corner to catch the train and she just appeared in front of me. it’s nyc, so beautiful people are everywhere and often little is left to the imagination, but every so often, there’s something remarkable about the moment you see someone you’ve never seen before. i took a picture the moment i realized this was happening and then put my camera away and forgot i even really took it. she was walking as fast as i was and went to same train i did. 7th ave and 18th st. i tried to get around her on the stairs as her shoes slowed her descent into the subway, but i had large prints and couldn’t fit around her. after the turnstiles, i saw her sit down on the bench in the middle of the platform and that was that, i kept walking to the end of the train towards the last car, where i always go. the train came, i got in and sat down. a couple moments later i saw her sit down in the crowded car directly accross from me. she sat calmly looking around at everything but me. 23rd, 28th, 34th. then at 42nd she stood up. her skirt was so short that as she stood there was a flash of white panty. then she disappeared into the city.

red shoes, red bag, black hair, white panties, lots of freckles.

i woke up monday around 10:30am. tuesday i had a job to fly to raleigh, nc and back, all in one day. so i got everything together slowly all day and tried to relax and go to bed early. nothing worked. i never fell alseep. so when it turned 4am tuesday, i got in a cab and went to the airport. i breezed through security and waited for the flight. then the panic started, i really am scared to fly these days even though i love to travel, ceretainly for work. maybe its my age, maybe its my fear of dying or pain, maybe its because i was lonely, maybe its because i have no control, i pay a large corporation a lot of money to treat me like shit and that company has no real consequences or concern for my death, injury or basic discomfort. maybe its extra time to just think too much. i got home around 9:15pm and didn’t even try to climb into bed till around 1:45am wednesday. so that’s 39h with no sleep and 711 images.
watch – 072407 – video

went to LVSC sunday. there was actually suppose to be a tournament this day, but one of the owners got called to duty in iraq, so no competition. pretty odd it’s taken this long to be directly effected in anyway at all by the war. sure, when i go to TX or FL near the bases it’s easier to see, but here in nyc, you really aren’t effected at all.

nate posted his flicks and a movie of us from two different angles, watch HERE.

he bragged of his 66 of 100, which for his 3rd time ever shooting is damn good, but he neglected to mention i got a 91 of 100, my first time ever in the 90’s.

true love = pennsylvania.

in 1996 when i lived in san francicso, i got all excited to see lee friedlander in person. i bought my books early so i could skip the huge lines i envisioned. i got there right on time later that night, no one was there. i never thought i’d be able to actually talk to the guy, but there he was, sitting at a folding card table by himself waiting to sign books. grabbed the books they were holding for me and marched over. lee signed one book for my friend wishing him a good marriage and one for me. he saw my leica and made a comment, i handed it over, he played with the lens and all the settings, said something about how they feel, and handed it back to me. (i had brought it to take a snap of myself with him, i even preset the focus, shutter, flash, everything was ready to, but after he handed it back, i neglected to set it all back to the proper settings). just before i walked away after giving him a box of prints even, i got the courage to just do the dumb deed and took a quick snap of myself next to him. upon seeing this, lee said, ‘you got all winogrand with your horizon on that one.’ so i said, ok, i’ll do one straight all freidlander. this is it.

yes, its out of focus. yes, the shutter was too fast for the flash. perfect.

when i get excited, i assume everyone thinks like me. i was hyped to see a movie tonight, got there mad early, all my usual neuroses in full swing, the theater may as well have been empty. but it reminded me of the day i first met lee.

texas, january, 2006.

main – 19 of 53
pre-lim – 22 of 35
5 stand – 6 of 16

all in C class.

not the results i hoped for all these months, i did all i could.

one guy on my squad was 2nd overall pre-lim.
another guy from my squad was 2nd overall 5-stand.

john and cindy let me crash at their new home for the tournament this weekend. it was wonderful to see a family starting.

purple shell is 12g, the yellow is 20g, the red is 28g, and the red is 410.
smaller the gauge, the less powder and pellets = harder to hit targets.

my first sub-gauge. 20g – 28g – 410g. 50 targets each.

40/50 – 20g – 3rd place.
41/50 – 28g – 3rd place.
31/50 – 410g – 3rd place.

it paid/punched out to 2nd place.

watch a little:
ZONE 1 video

On July 11, 2006, I forget at exactly what moment, I think it was late at night, close to midnight, I promised myself that on July 11, 2007, one year from that day, I would try to make something beautiful.

Today was that day. go here : DIES MERCURII XI JULIUS MMVII

Didn’t matter what, didn’t matter where or how. Just make something, something beautiful and make it on July 11th. For the past week or two I tried to get out of town, go somewhere new, do something out of the routine of everyday life as everything is easier to look at that way. Nothing worked. It couldn’t have been a more routine day. I did nothing out of the ordinary except walk by and take a picture of the building I spent last July 11th and take my camera wherever I went. As you can see, I didn’t go far or do much.

I haven’t shot in black and white in over 10 years. I never just walk out the door and shoot in nyc. both of these things, b+w and nyc, infuriate me, so I figure put them together, and go look.

go look yourself : DIES MERCURII XI JULIUS MMVII

(fyi – images of pornography are included)

I made 494 images, 82 are in the portfolio.

1998 or 1999, my father took that one of me after picking me up from the airport. sometimes i miss who i was then, even tho i still basically make the same types of images sometimes.

my family watched the fireworks from lawn chairs in the parking lot in between the crackabarrel and best buy.

i was scared to take this, i think i only even ended up taking it to see if i could over come that fear, the picture idea was no longer even the point. i knew from the scene all around it someone would have to speak to me, i had no idea what way it would go.

so right after i took it the woman who i assume owned it asked me for $5. i think she was joking. i laughed and kept walking as they laughed. it seems just because i take a picture, someone wants something from me more and more often, the right to not allow pictures in an obvious public space, money, a permit, to agitatedly see what i took just cause they were nearby, even tho i never pointed my camera their way, always seem to have to answer to someone, just because i use my camera in a way almost no one it seems can relate to…

so sometime a few years ago, i used to make pictures of LM in hotel rooms in wigs. one of these times, the white wig, was in a random econolodge upstate somewhere, i didn’t have anything to do with the planning of this trip, so i was along for the ride, i brought my camera and turned my brain off to the best of my ability. the econolodge turned out to be next door to strip club, ironic for many reasons i cannot bother to explain here. long story short, i happen upon this site again, long story short, it’s practically across the street from mid hudson clays, one of my new shooting places….. figures. everything is a circle.

2nd floor, far left corner of the hotel image, 2nd window from left is where i made this:

250 shells of practice, zone 1 is here, just 4 days away. i had been here once before, but now i do think it is closer to NYC then the others, and the targets are more competition style….. if only i had a car, i would be here every thursday… the cheap day.

MID HUDSON CLAYS

everytime i see a cross that isn’t really there, i think of LM.

nyc.

all the sudden, i am scared to fly.

something new happen today.