Saints Find Me
One Saint Day
Love Only Is God Pain Can
Pain Judge Is Me Love
– – –
No Good Deed Goes…. | March 2, 2011 – 11:40am
I made this photograph, standing on the sidewalk, out in the open in the sunlight. I almost didn’t make it, but I liked this story I thought I would never tell. So I took this one and only this one. The mistake I made was that I thought I made it on March 1st, it was really, March 2. The rest I don’t think was a mistake.
I found a typewriter here where I stay. It used to belong to my grandmother’s grandmother if I have the story right, no one really knows. The internet tells me it will soon be 100 years old(ish). I did not want to try to sell it in a hurry and could not keep it. I had once met someone who collects them, I thought they could give it a nice home, I wanted them to have it. The trouble was, I was in a situation where I was forced to keep secrets I did not wish to and never really promise to. Yet, I had been silent and no longer tried to be a friend to someone that openly and publicly called me theirs for anyone to see in a way I cherished and found quite beautiful. They had done this in a way not many others really have – a photograph, of me, they took, that is one of my favorite, flown high for all. They were the one that likes typewriters. I had vanished on them many months ago when I did not want to. All to keep the secrets of another that hasn’t shown me what I have shown them. I was stuck. I just wanted to give someone that likes typewriters a typewriter.
So it was my first errand of many that day. I drove over, parked in front, got out of my car, carried it to the porch, set it down, turned and walked away. I stopped at my car door, turned around and looked at it. This entire moment was just sad for existing. So I took a photograph of it as I stood there. It was sad. It looked like it in my photograph too. Then I got in my car and I drove away.
Since March 2, I have found another one, another typewriter that almost matches yet is only more beautiful, more old and more lonely. I think I will just throw this one away and I do not know if the first one was even received.
I used to live my life without secrets for this very reason. I will tell anyone anything about anything I know. I am proud of this. It’s who I am and why you found me or you wouldn’t see this, be reading this, right now. Nothing good ever came from a secret.
– – –
Pray For Me, Set Your Own Skin On Fire, Believe In A Name, Roll Some Dice & Smoke Up
I have nothing to hide & this is how I have chosen to live my life, for a very long time.