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December 31st, 2010

Your Moment Of Geniune

It was the same dancer from the first time I went here, during the emergency. I was one of the last customers this night, I didn’t want to return to where I was staying. So I just stayed here till my money was gone. She remembered me and each time she walked by me all night she said something to me – wanting to give me another dance. Yet each time till now, she was with another, you see, she is popular.

Now it was my turn, the routine was the same as before. We didn’t talk, she sat on my lap waiting for the next song to start and I stared at her. In the loud quiet we sat there, I remembered what a woman I have known asked me once about these places, “I bet you’re the kind that wants a connection with the girl right?” I cannot remember how I answered her as in my head, all I could think was how could this woman I have known, know me so little when she likely knows more about whatever truths are here in these places than I do.

The song started and the dancer on my lap danced, as she had before, she knows what to do and works very hard, it is why she is popular, well that and she is very pretty, all over and I don’t think she knows it. It was also as it was before, as it wasn’t working. She just looked at me every so often as I stared and then looked back down at herself, trying only harder. As the song was about to end, as it faded, she looked towards my right shoulder, stopped and pulled a hair off of me. It was likely not hers and it surely wasn’t mine. I looked at her, she looked back at me and said, “Hair.” Then she went back to dancing till the song ended. The next song started and nothing changed, when that one ended she had the last of my money. I told her to have a goodnight and she said, “You too, be careful.”

When I got back to where I was staying, I found another hair on me. I took it off, took a photograph of it on white, then black and thought that one hair being taken off me by her was the only moment of genuine all night.